it'll be always me to blame

I'm not beautiful
I'm not smart
I'm not caring
I'm not what they want me to be

I lost my friends
I lost my hope
I lost my everything
just to be perfect

he abused her
and she described it as love
I have to face it every day
but who am I to say?

mom you have to be strong
mom you have to hold on
don't hide yourself, you're beautiful
but how much longer do I have to be your parent?

it feels like I've become an adult
way too fast
and all I want to scream to her is
MOM I WAS ONLY TEN YEARS OLD

but they needed me to choose
mom or dad
now they hate me both
I didn't chose at all

I chose myself
is that so bad to do?
but homeless and loveless at 10
isn't gonna happen for long

I was sent back to her
tried to make things better
yet made them worse
and I was to blame

because they said it was love
love they chose
but why am I the one unloved?