Bêbado Suíno, The Rio de Janeiro Carnival Committee Chairman, having drank too much NyQuil cough medicine when his wife had thrown out all the Caipirinha, mailed an invitation, not to Manaus Samba school as he supposed, but to the Shapely Slender School of Meddybemps, Maine.
Despite the optimistic name, there was nothing about the slender school that resembled the Samba one, not unless you took into account the enthusiasm with which the Maine school reacted to the invitation.
The Slender School wasn't really a place of learning, not in the strict sense, it was more a place where, how can I say this, Maine women of a particular physical magnitude met and hung out. I can see that you are a little confused at my attempted political correctness, lets just say, it's the place women hang out, when they "hang out."
Now, chairman Bertha Pratt was no fool and knew a good thing when she saw it. She realized the invitation had to be in error, but this was a chance to see Carnival; it was also an opportunity for the ample Maine women to show off their esprit de corps.
Bertha gathered her motley crew, which amounted to 28 portly women dressed in traditional Maine costumes. Accompanied by the necessary accompaniments to their performance, the women boarded the plane to Rio de Janeiro.
As usual, Carnival was a brilliant spectacle. The Mocidade Independente Samba school thrilled the crowd when they paraded by. The Monobloco pleased the onlookers with the accompanying samba sounds and the themed floats and performers enthralled the crowd, but nothing turned their heads like the Shapely Slender School when it was their turn to march.
Following their intrepid leader Bertha, the girls stomped along the city block in their steel-toed work boots and extra tight leotards. News accounts the next day related signs of seismographic activity in the area.
But what they lacked in grace, the Slender School made up for in enthusiasm. Edna Glenn, of Ellsworth, carried the Maine flag high in the air. She slammed her feet one after the other, her leotard jiggling in ways that the beautiful, scantily clad Brazilian women could only dream about!
Following behind Edna was Gretchen Douglas, whose right hand kept reaching for the back of her leotard, which kept creeping up in places somewhat hard to describe. In her left hand Edna held the reins of a milk cow, who clearly did not like the somewhat larger crowd then she was used to on the farm where she grazed.
Trailing behind Edna, in work boots, heavy winter jackets and bobble, stocking caps, were the Winslow twins, who clearly did not understand that Winter in Maine did not translate to Brazil. The sisters sweat profusely, but refused to remove (for fear of being stolen) the matching outfits that they'd bought for twenty dollars at Renys Department Store.
Susan White had seen Carnival in the National Geographic at the dentist's office and she wasn't going to be upstaged by skinny Brazilian girls with perky breasts and firm butts. Susan before leaving from Maine (and with her husband Albert's help) shimmied her way into a girdle which didn't make her look thinner, but merely more top and bottom heavy. But as she waddled along, huffing and puffing a perfect example of Maine sticktoitiveness.
One brave soul, Elmira Plouff, donned her husband's volunteer fireman's outfit. With boots far too large for Elmira's surprisingly dainty feet, she tripped every 20 or so feet, her over-sized hat falling indecorously onto the pavement each time.
The crowd, though perplexed, showed the spirit of Brazilian goodwill and did not jeer at the Maine women, at least not until Esther Mitchell became visible to the crowd. An amiable, optimistic woman, she had a slightly higher impression of her curves than did the rest of those who knew her. The largest of the Slender School, Esther dressed out at 445 pounds but what made her stand out to the crowd was her costume...or rather, lack of it. What Esther wore could be held comfortably in a child's hand and Esther, with it fitting like a rubber band, left the crowd very little to their imagination. But when she heard the mocking catcalls, Esther was sure it was for the next group in line, a samba school with tall, slender, shapely dancers; women who Esther later, when back home, described to her husband Luther as, “Scrawny, sickly wimmin folk who probably niver ate no bacon in their lives."
After such a display, the crowd wasn't even surprised when a wooden moose on wheels, a stuffed hoot owl and Evelyn Blanche, wearing what one could only assume was a Blueberry bush ontop of her head, paraded into view.
And when Clem Blanche, who refused to let his wife go alone to a “den of sin,” trotted out on the walkway wearing a house dress and Evelyn's Sunday wig, the crowd knew it was seeing a Carnival it would never forget.
On the flight back to the States, the women, (and Clem,) unaccustomed to the Brazilian heat, were worn out, and slept contentedly. But in each of their dreams, they marched in the Carnival of Rio de Janeiro, and the crowd loved them, cheering the vivacity and elan of the Shapely Slender School of Meddybemps, Maine.
Bronze trophy winner
Adding your comment:
Dee
I was sure that the Brazilian men would find the women to be gorgeous and the ladies from Maine would win the contest for beauty. 
Your descriptions and images are priceless, so I will pay you extra clappies:
