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Derby Day

Missing image

 

 

The day of the derby had come round at last.
all mounts in fine fettle, not one was downcast.
each proud, broomstick stallion,
each mop handle mare.
their manes full of fury,
their tails all a flare.
the jockeys all confident

 vict'ry'd be theirs


 
Aligned at the starting gates
filled with desire,
each one so determined
to first cross the wire

 off they did charge,
all their sneaker hoofs, pounding,
off for the corner,

the cul-de-sac rounding.

Then all settled down to the victory ball,
with jiffy pop, cookies and Kool-Aid for all.
 when all were refueled, to the stables they cantered,
their voices all giggles,
  they joked and they bantered.

 they watered their mounts
at the mud puddle, then,
they heeded the starters call,
 set off again.
 bright fall leaves a trailing
away they went sailing
away like the gale
no fear they might fail.
assured that this time,
they'd be first cross the line.

Author notes

Thanks to Mirthryl for her comments and help in editing this poem. It was indeed improved.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Montey gold member
    November 23, 2009
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    This is a lovely warm poem.Loved the last 3 lines because it just cries out about the fun everyone was having.Montey


  • liquidmindforever
    July 3, 2009

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    So Sweetly Created

    Your love of animals blazes over the finish line along with the gallant stallions.
    Loved reading this. You have fun while playing with your friends: words and mind.
    Your profile is rich with galloping gourmet goolosh.
    We seem to have much in common.
    What's your pup's name?
    Delighted to make your poetic acquaintance.
    Until next time
    do keep penning and
    stay
    liquid


  • ajocean
    June 4, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    great piece thanks a million for sharing


  • toomysterious
    April 8, 2009
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    A delightful romp back to brighter times and the simple joys of childhood days. You do it so well.


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    March 25, 2009

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    I love your rhyem and ryme. wonderfull flow and detail. wonderfully written. It was a pleasure to read your poem.


  • Mirthryl
    March 5, 2009

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    Delightful write. Great imagery, and rhyme. Excellent "proud broomstick stallion, and mop-handle mare". Excellent "sneaker hooves pounding. Love the enjoyable neighborhood activity you have shared here.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    February 25, 2009

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    Oh this is just precious! Ahh the joys of childhood and those of us whom secretly never grow up
    Such a cute picture too.
    A wonderful trip into the mind of a child!
    Thank you so much for sharing.
    Gaylene


  • BonnieQ silver member
    February 24, 2009

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    Adorable!

    Oh, dearest Ed, this is priceless and so precious. You captured me and held me to the end wanting more: like how did the second run go! For a moment there, I was a kid again playing all those kid games and hoping I'd win next time. I cannot see anything I'd feel needs to be changed, including the picture being perfect for the gist of the poem.

    WELL DONE! Luv ya, SisBon


  • Denerica
    February 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is too cute, and perfect with the picture prompt, to be a kid again, giddy up horsey...once again a flow and a delight. Blessings.

1 - 9 of 9