Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The taste of the orchid

The orange-yellow epiphyte
clings to the branch,
like a lover clings
to a beloved.

It's complexity and
grandeur are shown
as delicately the petals
move in the wind.

The fragrance of kings
wafts through the breeze.
It tantalises the senses
and tickles our tastebuds.

As we capture for a moment
a taste of luxury
emitted from the
luscious flower of true love.

To taste the exquisite, delicate orchid blossom.

Author notes

Will probably edit again lol. some of the things in this poem are specific to orchids

In a list

A contest entry

How was this one??

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 73 of 73
  • JToddUnderhill
    October 19
    Edit | Reply

    Good Write

    Loved this one from start to finish. I am glad I stopped in to read some of your work, and will be reading more!


  • Flowergirl
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    very nice work full of imagery keep uop the great work....


  • Umi Juvariel
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting use of imagery in this piece. It really made the orchid in question come to life. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • Kiddy
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    very nice observations. Great job there.
    Thanks for entering

    Kiddy's score - 47
    Dr.Veer's score - 45.5

    Total - 92.5

    Love
    Kiddy


  • Aelten
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely!! I love orchids and you have captured some uniques things here.
    Khia


  • Desdmona
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you said the taste of the orchid and your diction was increducious. I could see the flower blooming. Good job and good luck! ~Des


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely write!
    Great imagery and flow here. I like the orchid aspect.
    Bravo!!!


    ♥ kate


  • rinzurajan
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    lovely imagery...exquisite stuff...




  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, very beautifully penned.
    Gorgeous imagery expressed
    and clever thoughts.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • stargazer.
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    Originality: (9/10)
    Emotion: (7/10)
    Poetic devices: (15/20)
    Structure/flow: (8/10)
    Cohension: (8/10)
    Title relating to poem: (10/10)
    Personal opinion: (8/10)
    Syntax: (7/10)
    Diction: (8/10)
    -
    Total:80



  • Flowers and nature in general is beautiful and you've captured the beauty in this poem. Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Mila7
    March 15
    Edit | Reply
    I own many orchids.
    Liked this very much.

  • This is beautiful! I especially love these lines:

    "As we capture for a moment
    a taste of luxury
    emitted from the
    luscious flower of true love."

    What a lovely image! Nice job!


  • Brlsbb
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    i choose this poem as one of the finalists, the language is very detaled and the imagrey is very good. There are parts that i could just see and smell and taste. I thought it was great thank you for the great write. It is indeed beautiful, but there are a few parts i was unsure of
    "As we capture for a moment
    a taste of luxury"
    while the line is very pretty I have a few issues with it..

    • Thank you for the gold trophey.
      Taste of luxury refers to royals. If you know anything about orchids you would know at one time they were reserved for only the rich and the royal families due to their rarity. Commoners were never given such a taste of luxury until much later


  • e911
    March 7

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely flower

    lol I did not know they were poison and your poem made me want to go and taste one. Glad you mentioned they are poisonous. Great poem.

    • lol Yeah I had a friend read this and then try to eat one... I told her the poem meant a figurative taste and not a real one... It was humorous nonetheless.


  • Gracie
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    This poem creates such great imagery, Ive read this poem a few times over and each time it gets stronger, no fault to be found.
    A truely great read, I look forward to reading any future poems you may post.

    • Im glad you enjoyed this piece. It is the best Ive written in a very long time


  • grammabuff
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    The title pulled me in for a very good read. One comment on flow - replace to period after tastebuds with a comma. That makes the last stanza a complete sentence. Beautiful.


  • darell
    March 6

    Edit | Reply

    Captivating

    A breathtaking image of love romance
    and passion expressed in metaphors
    of natural essence. Lovely write my friend.
    Exquisite! keep that pen alive

  • Tis interesting.


  • Brlsbb
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much for the poem
    it is beautiful good luck in the contest..
    my favorite lines
    "The fragrance of kings
    wafts through the breeze."

  • this was very descriptive and very real! i loved it! great job!

  • this is so good it feels so real


  • Chimera77x7
    February 28
    Edit | Reply

    Strong

    I feel like I can walk through this place you've made...

  • Merciful-Manner
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is a fantastic write, very good imagery and just wow. Awesome Job, you did very well with this poem, I like it very much, keep up the good work!


    • DeadlyPoetic88
      February 27
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much... its funny how many ppl think i did so well on this but thank you all the same


  • Gagiikwe
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Begins well, then things seem to lose clarity.
    I think the first two stanzas are excellent, both as descriptions of orchids, and as a metaphor for love.
    Perhaps lines 12 & 16 are a bit trite compaired to the metaphors used elsewhere.
    I wonder if the poem might be stronger if line 17 were omitted?
    I question the repetition of 'taste' three times. That seems to detract from the visual, tactile and olfactory images of the orchid.
    Like the fragrance of the orchid, sometimes subtlety is the best way to speak of love.

    • DeadlyPoetic88
      February 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the suggestions I have taken them into consideration.

      -deadly


  • liltulip gold member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply

    imagery!

    one can actually sense the flower while reading your words, how wonderfully written they are! thank you for sharing!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    The fragrance of kings
    wafts through the air.
    It tantalises the senses
    and tickles our tastebuds

    that is so cool. tickles our tastebuds--that made my tongue water. thank you for sharing this with me today. i wish you well in the contests you have entered with this write and am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • Antipodi
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow so many times I have tried the capture delicate nature of an exquisite flower and you have done it in this wonderful write ..excellent poet

  • Lovely!

    I learned a new word: epiphyte! Love the flow of this visually pleasing & scentful poem. Delightful word choice & presentation. All the best in the Contest.


  • Godlike Boy
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow as Edwardlover said Beautiful Imagery I enjoyed this Poem, I read it a few times to get the full image.
    Great Write


  • Edwardlover
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    I

    I don't reall suggest much to change mostly i just wantted to say that you really gave me the vision of this orchid! Fantastic imagary!!!
    good work
    tibby


  • LittleMoon silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely write but I have never known a scented orchid but then the ones here would be forced grown. They certainly are beautiful and exotic though and so many varieties.


    • DeadlyPoetic88
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      orchids are scented. the chinese refer to them as the kings fragrance in ancient times


  • UnknownFemale
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    "The fragrance of kings
    wafts through the air.
    It tantalises the senses
    and tickles our tastebuds."

    I really liked these two lines. Very captivating piece, but I have to say it... Aren't orchids extremely poisionous? Or is that what you were getting at?


  • BlindingSchism
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    It just so happens that my favorite flower is an orchid, haha. The title just grabbed me; so glad that it did, as well. This is very descriptive & I fell in love with the imagery. Good luck in your contest.


  • Lowell Poe
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    poor boy...deserves 5 stars.


  • Lowell Poe
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    Stop and smell them lass.
    Just delightful !
    Fragrance in words.....
    touching poetically on all five senses ..
    I would leave this ...
    it has the feeling of strolling from the avenue into a quaint little flower shop.

    Charming lass,
    Lowell Poe.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    A very elegant penning dear, well formed and thought out.

    All the best,

    mj.


  • Lila Love
    February 24

    Edit | Reply

    Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllll;

    I am not a fan of any flowers, whatsoever, I actually hate them with a passion. This piece, I feel obliged to say, was completely and totally enticing, and I loved it.


  • shiratikva
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    "fragrance of kings
    wafts through the air" it's such a beautiful.
    You call orchid "the luscious flower of true love".
    I like it.
    Well done

  • Fushikage
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love this, so, much. The imagery is phenomenal and the "t" sounds in the third stanza are to die for. Alliteration and word games (loved and beloved, luscious love, etc.)

    Awesome poem, I wouldn't change a thing


    • DeadlyPoetic88
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Im suprised you wouldnt change a thing i wrote this in two minutes, no joke lol


  • longte
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Second verse just spell delicately correctly
    To me the last line loses something
    Just not a poetic as the rest?



  • dlowel
    February 24
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    I nice dance and hint around sexual intimacy...good write.


  • Rhythm Child
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    i look forward to it

1 - 73 of 73