Make Me Feel Alive

The flames are licking creases
in pictures I would have never worked out
on my own as you, slowly,
fall to ashes at the bottom of a heated pit.
I'll scatter my heart
through open water that we spent a summer
rolling through and pruning our bodies.
And everytime my fingers prune in the shower
from standing under the hot spray
i think of you and all the times we spent
soaking each other for hours.
And even when I turn the water off
I still lean up against the wall
and wonder why I still feel like I'm drowning.

You made an impact on my life
in every way I can't explain.
Everytime I smile I think of how
your dark eyes would light up in response to mine.
or when I'd walk into the house
and find you in the kitchen cooking after work.
[You always looked so cute when you were tired]
I can still remember how right you felt
when your arms were around me
and your breath whispered in my hair.

Our lives are going by in a blur
and it seemed when I was with you
life just slowed
like every moment spent together
would never be forgotten because
how could anyone forget anything that
was so slowing moving that you wouldn't
forget a moment.
We captured time in pictures that will always
mock me of how much life used to
sit behind our eyes[when it was only you and me]

I can't just lay around in bed anymore
without thinking of all our mornings[even afternoons]
that we would spend in bed, laughing, talking,
or even distracting each other to create serious
lapses of concentration.
If I lay in bed, awake, too long
it brings me to tears that continue to slip out
for the rest of the day.
It was just inevitable that I wouldn't be able
to forget you anyway.

The last time I saw him I packed
all my things and he smiled like the
first time he told me his name.
Tears slipped from his eyes and I closed my eyes
So I couldn't remember what it looked like
when our hearts fell and crashed across
his kitchen floor.

2/23/2009
10 59 am