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A Comforting Touch

Missing image


I could spread
ink-like, melting
into this binding
locking the cover;

his words
for my eyes only.

                        “She stood transfixed in the mirror
                        picturing the eyes of a stranger
                        approaching, understanding 
                        beneath this nakedness;
                        she could never hide,
                        or even want to.”                                      page 3

My heart longs this desire;
a husband needs me
but his wants are
only mysteries
Fading;

let me drown
in intimate words
caressing  isolation.
Let me dream until you 
glide beyond my defenses.

                    “He made her feel
                                          beautiful
                    in a place without shame
                    leaving no need to look back
                    over the calm turquoise ocean
                    that had ceased to be the storm.”                  page 603












Author notes

image credit: http://blogs.librodearena.com/myfiles/blascubells/pasion-ternura.jpg

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • So very very pleased to see god adorn this beauty. Congratulations on writing what truly is an amazing verse.
    ~Pamela

  • what a creative and interesting read this was...very ingenious. Well done.
    Rory


  • Nickelspring gold member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow what a great picture, but it pales in comparison to this formed masterpiece! I absolutely LOVE this!! The opening stanza is wonderful.
    KW~


  • DayDreamMuse
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    I know you were a genius... This oncly confirms it once again. I tried once doing shape poetry with unusual formatting such as this one and i was a pain, but you managed to do that and create this enchanting platonic love story. Wowza.

  • I see no faults in this only beauty and comfort. I loved the lay out, too, as though you have open a book and taken a peek inside. The inside story so to speak, anyway I loved it, both beautiful and comforting.

  • Wow.. this is just wonderful! I didn't want it to end...


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    You have worked magic with this piece,
    I was pulled in...
    at first I admit, the way it was laid out made me want to click next..and move on, but as I read, I agree, I think it only added to this.
    I am absolutely impressed by this piece altogether.

    Thank you so much for your entry. Again, Good luck, welcome to the finalist list

    Passions

    • I never intended the shape until after and I saw how it had formed on its own - I then tweaked it to fine tune to bring out the shape. I am glad this was to your likeing and I hope all is well with you
      And , of course, thanks for the shiny thing


  • HpWICKEDangel
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    i like how this is done. to capture the reader like this is so breath taking and wonderful. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.


  • Hetha gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    I think the unusual formatting only adds to your piece rather than taking away from it. It places the focus in all the right areas of your piece, and brings the 'story within the story' to life. I love that picture too. I truly enjoyed reading it.


  • BearWoman gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely!

    I liked the unusual formatting (including the page numbers), which fits well with the image. Reviewing it critically is mostly beyond me. Your stanza: "let me drown / ... / ...until you / glide beyond my defenses." expresses so eloquently what I would wish for in a lover/mate. The final stanza pierces my heart as well. The only thing I get hung up on is that pesky semi-colon in "beneath this nakedness;" I can't justify suggesting its removal, because while I don't like it as punctuation there, it gives form and a structural pause that I both like. Okay, so I'm inconsistent. Go figure. Lovely poem. It put me into one of those dreamy romantic states.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    Vignettes? I have to say that is what the form comes across as. Very creative, how you frame
    these snippets as highlighted words from pages
    in a book that is never far from the owner.
    It does evoke a mood and achieves a longing to
    know more. Blue


  • Keith Drew gold member
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    Yes and always the grass is greener until the tomorrow.


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    February 25

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    This is one of the most interesting poems I have read lately. The formatting, picture and page numbers all give it a special quality, but it is the phrasing that makes it magic. The beauty of the life they shared together is evident and yet the reader is left to imagine all the wonderful entries between pages 3 and 603. With the passing of the years his appreciation of her beauty in all its forms grew as a good marriage grows. May we all be so lucky. Peace, Liz

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply


    speechless for the perfection in this.









  • PassionsPromise gold member
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    Nice pic choice.

    Title: A Comforting Touch

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    What a GREAT image.

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