as I stoke cinders to fallen stars,
I leave you the untidy bed
my heart-
it breaks for you
I have felt these shackles
of love before
and profane, against
soft pale of hairless skin
bereft, I knew you then,
like rounded stones
beneath your river’s fury
Love me not… once more
I must go—
and be, that empty nest
to your leafless tree;
long past spring
Author notes
the good of bad and broken hearts
A contest entry
- cages by unraveled.
1600 points, ended March 8, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW2- Quickie by crivanea.
400 points, ended July 26, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quick! 8 Prewrites! #5 by amaranthine lover.
700 points, ended September 9, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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so very well written!
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umm no... not a haiku lol
yes its one of them break up poems where you just simmer in the where did the love go?
it was so grand in the beginning
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Ohhh! Wonderfully said poet! I so admire those words that just seem to flow so well in these lines.. Great imagery and if this is a haiku I'll mention the great Aha moment well done .. A work that has great depth and prompt some quick thinking.
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Breath!
This poem made me inhale and then exhale slowly!
It is so equisitely beautiful. So moving....filled with lonliness. I loved this poem so very much!
Bravo!!!!!!
Exellent.
I can't believe this has not won the gold!!!! -
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thanks for the great comment...
my poetry lurks in corners
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This is amazing. The first line hooked me right away. Best of luck to you in the contest.
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Very poetically written, rich in metaphor and meaning.
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excellent~
You never cease to amaze me with your poem sweetie
This poem speaks volumes
Love the metaphors as well
Best of luck in the contest
I have up some new ones too get yer butt over at my page and check em out my Mr Hunk
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
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I'm smiling at your profound author's notation. How true is that! Very. This well rounded poetic romanticism fills the void in describing "cages".
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This is so sad, but so beautiful Mal...
wow.
I love the empty nest and leafless tree. Oh and
rounded stones and river's fury. *sighs*
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oh, fane: temple? or feign?
Either way.
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it was profane lol thanks hun
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unbind me....this is a strong piece. Makes me think being in a relationship and the good and bad of being with someone but not really setlling
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how right you are ... i like people to think
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