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When Love is Lost

Must I now fall prey to your diminution

of my very existence,

simply because I am not blind to your faults,

for you I have resistance.

 

 

You see its you who made me better,

you defined my worth,

This you did when the choice was to

treat me like the scum of the earth.

 

 

In your twisted mind it was meant to

compromise my composure,

yet it built me up and now I have

been released from your enclosure.

 

 

Not another hackle will be raised

about the price you put on love.

I wanted to be respected but all you saw

was that spooney girl you dreamed of.

 

 

There is no gaderene path that

leads to hearts everlasting,

and the myriad tears you might now shed

can't make me conceive of what you're asking.

 

When love was never defined

it can so easily be lost,

but when love brings too much pain,

it can never heal enough to pay the cost.

 

marjorie joyce leslie

02/24/09

 

Author notes

words used diminution, hackle, spooney, gaderene and myriad.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • penman gold member
    July 2, 2009
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    Excellent

    wow, what powerful write. You did great. Congratulations on the silver.


  • Beret55 silver member
    April 11, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Great break away. You should never be abused. Its not worth it. Great poem..


  • Denerica
    March 22, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Wow difinately worthy of the silver, I loved the meaning in the 3rd stanza. Blessings.


  • tombruize
    March 13, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Nice write...

    You did a nice job here...


  • poet360
    March 9, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    applause--

  • poet360
    March 9, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    wow another amazing piece by you!


  • Diamond
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, I forgot to send your applause. Avril


  • Diamond
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I am totally awestruck by your use of word in this poem. It is an amazing write and I am so glad you stood your ground and not give in to temptation. Congratulations on your silver trophy and keep up the grand work. Avril


  • Arkbear gold member
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    ...a few more of these little yellow guys for ya


  • Skybow silver member
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations queenie on the well deserved Silver. Your poems shines an important, vital light.


  • Arkbear gold member
    March 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    One of the best writes I have read in a long time....you took those words and worked them like clay in your hands throughout this whole write.....NICE job!

     

    Thank you so much for entering & God bless you,

     

    Bear -


  • Skybow silver member
    February 28, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    From:

    Must I now fall prey to your diminution
    of my very existence,
    simply because I am not blind to your faults,
    for you I have resistance....

    To:

    When love was never defined
    it can so easily be lost,
    but when love brings too much pain,
    it can never heal enough to pay the cost.

    This poem spoke of a woman transforming from sad submission to claiming her own power. It resonates with my own long journey, in the defining of myself. Trying to answer the question "Who am I"

    I enjoyed reading this and thought you did a excellent job on the word bank.

    Best of luck in the contest.



  • cgirl0410
    February 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I like the classic structure of this piece. The almost Shakespearean stanzas. The emotion comes across clearly in this piece. Great write. Good luck in the contest. - cgirl0410


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    February 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    To know true love is to know pain as I'm a living example (even though I rarely write about those times). Written true with emotion as I can tell by your write that you have been there as well. Good luck in the contest.

    Ted E


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    February 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    A poem you had from the start to the finish
    I am glad that the woman in the poem respects herself
    form his low self esteem and like Bonnie Q says this makes you a better individual....
    Best of luck in the contest..
    Hugs
    Susan~~~


  • BonnieQ silver member
    February 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Woman! Hear Her Roar! Right On!

    The first stanza starts out as a question but ends with a period: might want to change that. "myriad of tears" myriad stands alone, suggest delete 'of,' then adjust line meter accordingly: how about-- "and the myriad tears you might now shed"

    This is excellent, Marg, an excellent example of a young woman respecting herself and expecting the same respect from one who says he loves her. His low self-esteem prevents him from having the very thing he craves, a respectable lady with values.

    This has got to win the GOLD!

    Much luv & hugs, SisBon

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