Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

White Hankie

White hankies, flower cornered
from the blistered hand,
pegged on the line suds bunches
washed .
An evening at the ironing board
pressed of corners smoothed
sobs that moisten the steams
fold
later put away.

Author notes

Prompt: Suds

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • paperparadox silver member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    I have to ashamedly admit to not quite 'getting' some of your lines here! Sorry ~ it's more than likey just me being thick!

    For example, I'm not sure how to picture this image:

    'pegged on the line suds bunches
    washed .'

    But, as I say...it's probably just me!

    What I DID understand of this, I very much liked.




    • saddie23
      April 4
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for your wonderful comment given. The picture prompt was a clothes line with linen. This was my attempt to bring more actual picture of ladies in the past hang-up hankies on a clothes line and later ironing them. A visual effect of the prompt. Hoped you liked. First time doing free verse. Saddie23


  • ronnica
    March 31
    Edit | Reply
    A really nice take on the prompt. the thoughts and a little sadness coming through to the reader.

  • Rowan gold member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    There's a few words I would omit, 'teardrop' linen.
    and I don't know about the last three lines. I think I would omit those too. And end it on
    later
    put them away.?
    Just a suggestion. Overall a very sad, beautiful write. Thanks for entering.

    • saddie23
      February 24
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      Thanks I'll omit those lines. Thank you for the comment and the applaudes.

      • Rowan gold member
        February 24
        Edit | Reply
        your welcome, thanks for not being offended.
        I don't mean to say that all of my suggestions are sound, ask around, see what others think, maybe I'm wrong. But if you keep 'teardrop', I'd omit tears.

1 - 6 of 6