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A Crow in the Field

Death comes on swift wings
To those who battle takes
Their corpse immobile on the ground
While their spirit floats on high
The birds who pray begin to flock
They circle over head the scene
Waiting for the dead
Family members sit and pray
For good news of their loved ones
Both at home and away
In battles afar, across the seas
Across the skies, where life is changed
The culture and religion different
The war a whim of someone on high
Young men and boys are sent to fight
In our armies to their death
Leaving family and friends far behind
Goodbyes said with emotion flowing
A hand grasped tightly, with a squeeze
A hug, a smile, a lovers kiss
To send them off away from home
And lie in deaths everlasting bliss

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • nobumagawaX
    March 18
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is realy deep when you think about it...verry nice poem!!!!


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    congratulations on the gold trophy that you have earned with this write. thank you for sharing its beauty with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


    • nudul
      February 26
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      for the kind comment huni, I really appreciate it. I'm glad you like my poem xxxx


  • ScottishPrincess silver member
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    A great poem indeed and congratulaions on winning the gold trophy,Regards,Hazel


  • BabyBun silver member
    February 26
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning write. Thanks for the entry and good luck


  • Grozny silver member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply

    Good.

    This is good: In answer to "who won?" I've heard people reply, "the vultures." They were the only ones who gained from the war.

    One thing I might suggest, though, is to bring your poem back to the crows at the end. You don't mention them again after the seventh line.


  • dustytiger
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very powerful piece, with a very sad and true message indeed, i can see the solider leaving his loved one, and then going off to battle to never return, wonderful, wonderful piece here, best of luck in the contest

1 - 8 of 8