I Always Feel Lonely

I always feel lonely in crowded rooms,
Where my friends have their fingers laced and occupied.
Where everyone is talking to ones so loved-

but no one is talking to me.

I can't remember the last time I felt wanted,
and that's the only thing I've been looking for.
Every person has someone that cares-
and someone that they ache to have.

Dim lights can't hide the lust permeating the air.
It's disgusting when you don't have anyone to hold.
The feeling of defeat always seems to settle in my stomach.
Why do I always get sucked into these gatherings-

I guess I think I can handle it, but I'm just a bit too weak.
And I tend to think someone that wants me will be there,
which hoping isn't bad-
until you're hopes are kind of shoved right back in your face.

There are times when I can't help, except to try to cry-
and I just want that little thing inside me to snap,
but it never does, and I can't cry.

I always feel lonely in crowded rooms,
because I'm always looking for him...
I want to attract this boy's attention-

but I'm not sure if he exists.