It begins with a quick sharp pain in your chest.
Then there’s a horrific draft that chills you to the bone.
After a few hours of crying your eyes out, you finally throw up.
Then you sit in the dark shaking for the rest of the night.
The next morning, you can’t get out of bed.
You can’t sleep, but you can’t wake up.
Hunger creeps into your stomach, but you can’t feel it.
So you don’t eat.
You walk to the bathroom because you haven’t peed in over 18 hours, but you just fall to the floor and sleep.
Nightmares make the sleep restless.
You wake to your sister pounding on the door.
As you leave, she screams at the sight of crimson all over the tub.
You look down and realize you massacred your left arm in your sleep.
The blood is warm, but you are so cold, you go back to bed.
The sheets become wet in your blood, but you don’t notice.
Then the headache comes.
Its above your left eye, and is throbbing enough to wake the neighbors.
You start with one Tylenol, but it quickly turns into three.
Then seven.
Then ten.
Then you loose count.
You become numb.
You break into a cold sweat, and throw up the rest of the day.
After your stomach is emptied, you sleep.
And sleep.
And sleep.
Until you can no longer wake up.
You dream
And dream.
And dream.
Until they become nightmares.
Then you wake.
Music is no longer appealing.
And food is for the weak minded.
Breathing is over-rated.
So you try to stop… but you can’t.
It hurts so bad, that you don’t know how to terminate your own life.
So your blade becomes your best friend.
It’s always there for you, shining in all its glory.
As time goes by, it becomes pleasurable.
The cuts get deeper and deeper,
Until they become gashes.
You haven’t eaten in weeks now.
And sleep is your enemy.
You finally get to the last cigarette and think, “oh fuck” to yourself.
You need to buy more.
FAST.
So you put on all your long sleeved hoodies, your favorite skinny jeans, and grab your keys.
Your cheeks are stained in tears, but you need a smoke.
The hair in your face keeps you hidden, but not hidden enough.
As you arrive at the corner store, you see him.
HIM.
First you feel anger.
Then hate.
Then love.
Then sadness.
Then extreme deprivation.
It kills you to see him smile without you.
You try to act as if you can’t see him, but he locks eyes with you.
Concern takes him over.
And he almost looks… sad to see you that way.
You get about 7 packs, then run to the door.
The cold outside burns the tears to your face.
Your car is frosty, and doesn’t start right away.
He begins to approach you, but you can’t handle it.
You back out as fast as you can.
You’re free.
At the red light, you pop a few more pills, and smoke a few cigarettes.
Once again, you become numb.
As you get home, you can’t even feel the razor anymore.
So press harder and harder…
But its still not working.
You take a lighter over it, and then cut again, but its just not working.
Things begin to turn white, and you don’t know why.
You scream so loud, but you can’t hear yourself.
Then you regret ever meeting that bastard.
Author notes
Falling in love is under rated. No one ever tells you what its like when you loose it. So i say FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD. Wake up and see reality. Because one guy will do more damage than a hundred if you love him.
C o o k i e - m o n s t e r
option: "first something" (haha, I forgot what number I chose..)
- xXDarkxPoetsXx group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Feelings by Menna.
550 points, ended March 28, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me cry by xochocoholicxo.
600 points, ended June 23, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Must Be Crazy -- Prewrites by ladybug..
1000 points, ended June 25, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me by JM Kenyon.
700 points, ended June 24, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options, PW, Quickie... you pick the winner... what more could you want? by The cliche typo.
650 points, ended June 28, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - && sometimes maybe i want to cry too by Simply Simple.
900 points, ended July 14, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - forbidden love by robynsapoet.
445 points, ended July 11, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We Are Walking In Cracked Sunshine and Fractured Memories {Prewrites!!} by rainbows..
800 points, ended July 8, 223 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DARK QUICKIEEE by KissLoveCutPainDie.
400 points, ended July 12, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
first heartbreaks sting the most and last the longest.........raw emotion in this write.
-
very dark and depressing
great work
Thank you for entering and good luck
~Fabienne -
Stanzas would make this better. But this is a very interesting poem, you have packed a lot of emotion into this poem and I love that aspect. Thank-you very much for entering this into my contest.
-
there no sign that the love was fobbiden ur dq
-
There are no words to explain the passion & emotion in this poem. I love the free, anger-fueled style & the imagery behind every word. Thank you for sharing.
-
wow
that's all i can say
wow -
-
ha, Thank you
-
-
I love this..
I recently lost the love of my life.. I haven't eaten or slept really in a month now.. its true, one boy can destroy you if you truly love them.. no one can understand that feeling, its different for everyone, but its not just an oh-my-crush-broke-up-with-me feeling, its an oh-my-god-breath-caught-in-your-chest-stabbed-30-times-cant-comprehend-a-thing- dead feeling that makes you wish you could sleep and never wake up, but you cant sleep cause you know you'll see his face, right there taunting you, laughing and smiling as if you never existed and your splitting had no effect on them... heart break, true heart break, is the worst feeling in the entire universe.
-
This is perfect. Truly amazing, i love your style and the truth in your writing.
-
omg
this is real good i love it.. -
eh... whatever. Guys are just guys. i got over it, and i'm back on the road to happiness. Trust me everyone, if i can do it... anyone can
-
I cried when I read this poem. It was truly AMAZING!
-
I feel that....not so much the razor,what does not kill u will make u stronger......I PROMISE
-
this is extremely good. I'm very sorry he hurt you that way.
-
...WOW...
This is amazing!! i truly like it!! omg wow.. this actually put shivers down my spine!!
Keep it up
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
