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Notions

To a kid of six
it was hard to imagine
how sunlight got into the soap.
Scents lingering for days,
upon sheets and hair.
Rooting itself into
Childhood’s pristine fantasies;

While the feel of lye 
scratched and burnt.
As it scrubbed away
at the flesh of poverty.
Leaving sterile aromas
desperately lingering,
to bleach the truth
from Life’s filthiest reality…





Author notes

prompt: suds

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • ears2hearyou gold member
    April 15

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    loved the power and depth in this poem!
    fabulous writing..way to teach us all!
    ears/Seattle
    BRAVO! BRAVO!


  • Flowergirl
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    very nice work i love it keep up the great work....

  • Michael P gold member
    February 24
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    This is brilliant Bunny...peace


  • suseann
    February 24

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    You know,I think we might of been better off using lye soaps.Saved money spent on exfoliates/skin scale removal. And the raw lard involved in making it acted as a moisturizer. But the vinegar rinse of my hair to remove residue left something more to be desired. This piece aside from my trip down memory lane was inventive and wonderful.


  • charcoal
    February 24
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    those first three lines are magic

  • Rowan gold member
    February 24
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    'To a kid of six
    it was hard to imagine
    how sunlight got into the soap. "
    I just loved that opening, the first stanza is so, umm, what's the word? Reminscently thought-provoking?
    Wait that's 3 words. lol. Anyway...
    Stanza two; the loss of innoncence, with the use of lye was damn effective. I liked this write, I liked it alot.


  • ScarletO gold member
    February 23

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    Lye soap has such a powerful element to it. Like the last two lines of this "to bleach the truth
    from Life’s filthiest reality…" Poverty is a filthy reality which does not really need to be filthy, but many times it is. Well done.


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    February 23

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    Well, this is a powerful bit of writing. You capture the innocent perspective of the child in the first stanza... the wonder, the sweet ignorance. And yet, you immerse us in his reality...the grating nature of poverty and all its crimes. Phenomenal imagery in BOTH parts...completely riveting.

1 - 8 of 8