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Lets Get Dangerous;;

{Touch me,
touch me,}
                this can never (end...)
                    k-i-s-s my forehead,

[oh, once more..]
                  I beg of you,
just to p.le.a.s.u.r.e me.
        after I ask this simple f\a\v\o\r,
                                                            you %rip% me to s/h/r/e/d/s,
                              and c:v:e:r my m,o,u,t,h.
i cannot {breath,}
                              i cannot think.
when will this e.n.d?
      why is this happening?
                                                    i do not d'e's'e'r'v'e any of this.
  he =throws= me his shirt,
        and makes me put it on...
                                                          t*h*r*o*w*s me in his truck,
                                  and turns the l\i\g\h\t on.
      he hands me his m$o$n$e$y,
                          and says we arent d^o^n^e yet,
                                                [but] when the light goes o.f.f,
i k*n*o*w this is done,
                           
                my life is d_o_n_e,
/forever/..
                                            all because I was stupid.
                S~e~d~u~c~i~n~g a stranger,
      to pay for food,
          was all i could t`h`i`n`k of,
    before this
                          |kidnappingg.|






      And then he ;ties; this rope,
                                                                          over my mouth,
                    "Let's get dangerous",
He says, as if to
!p!l!e!a!s!u!r!e
              me more.
                    I am d,o,n,e, I say,
        Just
                        let
  me
                                      go!
                                            And then he holds ^up^ his axe,
And s.l.i.c.e.s it down my 
                                           

                                          [back.]




{[It still isnt over.;;;]}
   

A contest entry

i know this is small, but what kind of message or story did you get from this?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Babiee.Bunniee
    February 23, 2009

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    Breathless....

    Its so romantic, scary, sexy, and just wow....amazing write! keep it up


  • my.stars.dont.shine
    February 23, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    I don't think I have any other word or words to say. Haha.
    This was def. interesting to read! And very well wrote! Lol.


    One thing though, the background is kind of bright which sort of makes you strain to read the poem so it kind of takes away the effect a tad bit. =p

    But its still amazing!! =)


  • ChemicallyEmilie
    February 23, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    haha wow anna lol. wow... thats all i can think of. lol. its good though. lol


  • luna-midnight silver member
    February 23, 2009

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    hahaha, isnt this kinky
    haha, wow its rough, takesan axe to your back, someone has anger issues lol. i like it! thanks for entering, and good luck
    Stephanie ♥


  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    February 23, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    heheee... sorry about the smileyy.
    its because of the : and the o together;...

1 - 5 of 5