Sanctified and silent
How am I meant to dream without a hope
Thy sweet creator I thank your peace
For pain is a memory
And one day all you can’t witness
Will be known
Beauty will enter my skin
And pass like dawn to dusk, inevitable
With blossom I will bear fruit
Young and sweet like fine strawberries
And their names will be oblivious
Their faces another one of a stranger
My brother will become tall and strong
He will stand proudly like concrete art
Admired, still
You will not hear his words of incorruption
Or his dreams like innocent prayers
Thy heir will be thy martyred and faceless creature
And so my dear unloved
You who I saw as the empty and unrelated
I beg for your forgiveness
And I confess that it is not your actions
For they cause me shame
But your heart, which I knew held memories
Ones that was just for me
Author notes
Dedicated to Jim
You were not the world's beat father. You didnt hold my hand,or did you show much affection. You did not buy me many presents, or take much of an interest in my life. But now you are gone i mourn the loss of you,not what you did and did not do.
Dedicated to Pete
Our love is pure and strong,it will defy death and any god to tries to break it. And the only way i will continue to see the sun is with you by my side to keep my tears at bay. You tell me to cry,but i cannot.For i wish to be beautiful always around you.
A contest entry
- Do you have emotions? by Forgotten Anomaly.
550 points, ended October 27, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Darkwrite Challenge (Season 6) by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
400 points, ended March 27, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It all falls away by Puking Faerie Dust.
900 points, ended April 19, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want poems about grief here by trekkergirl.
400 points, ended May 19, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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ahhh yes, now see I don't feel grief in this one... You are talking about beauty and standing tall. These are not usually words that go with grieving or the process. Also, I think the reason that it probably sounds a little rough in places is the fact that English is probably not your native language. And it tells with some of the phrasing and words that you use.
And I am not going to pick out each word that I believe to be misspelled. That your program you are writing in can do.
I stand by what I said in my earlier comment. Thanks for asking me to re-look over this entry. -
Okay thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into this contest.
I do think that you need to use spell check and need to re-read your work a little better. It reads a little rough in places.
Also, this contest is about grief and I am not all that sure that this poem fits in with the prompt. Thanks again -
I loved this. The originality, the emotion, the language and diction, everything flowed together perfectly to make a wonderful and deep poem. The only thing that caught me off guard was the last line, in which "was" should be "were". Other than that, a fantastic poem you have here. Thank you for entering
Jeanette*~
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reallч good write, i could sence the emotion in it, and sorrч to hear about чour dad. xx
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To me this has a wistful tone, dark and deep yet still wistful within. Superbly told. Thanks for entering and good luck
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The darkness of these black emotions most intense definitely pulls at the heart. I am left asking is there justice ..... perhaps it lay in the title.
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beautiful and yet so sad. I like it. thanks for sharing.
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I love the emotion here. The darkest and deepest emotion is always a good weapon to have.
I liked lines such as;
Beauty will enter my skin
And pass like dawn to dusk, inevitable
Those are dark with beauty..lol
Bravo!
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
This is a very emotion and heart-felt poem you have inked here. A brilliant masterpiece & priceless work of art. You did an amazing job with this and I hope you win the contests this masterpiece is in. If not, you deserve too. Keep up the excellent work and God bless you always in all that you do and write.
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