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Forbidden Fruit (version 2)

Secret smile, covert glance,
Sneak a kiss at every chance.
A wink, a laugh, a light caress,
all show the things we can't confess.

Casual greetings, late night moans,
Your lips on mine when we're alone.
A comment that leaves more unsaid,
and hints at time spent in your bed.

We lie together, intertwined,
sending tingles up my spine.
You'll return to her come light,
But as of now, you're mine tonight.

Author notes

Edited the last stanza slightly from the original to make the meaning more clear.

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • schoolsable
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    this is powerful and really amazin w/ ur word choice. no wonder y u graduated.. ur a great poet


  • Umi Juvariel silver member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    This came out feeling like adultery, which I suppose is what you were going for, based solely on your title. I liked this piece. It was well worded. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.

  • Synkuthink
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE YOURPOETRY

  • This is deliciously good, a real treat for this word junkie
    Excellent meter, perfect rhyme, just a very well crafted piece of art
    Bravo

  • i love it!!
    haha..
    great write.


  • DesolatELifE
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely wonderful. Realistically, that's all my comments needs to say.


  • AlittleWrong gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply

    outstanding

    this is wonderful!!! i love love love love love it. very much. welcome to the finalist list! The meter, rhyme, and cheeky take on the subject matter were all a pleasure to read. it also captured exactly how the situation was that i was in.

  • Mirrorbox
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Your rhythm makes this poem so playful and amusing. The cuteness of it cleverly paints over the dark intentions of the narration. Smart!

    The last line especially hits the ball outta the park. Nice way to tie up what was almost such a seemingly-casual write.

1 - 8 of 8