Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

love isn't supposed to be like this

 

Beautiful heartbeat,
you were "letting go" material,
or so it seemed to me.
Breathing without the lungs you supplied
will never be easy, no it won't be the same.

If I reach out my hand,
will it be filled with yours?
Or will it come back just as empty
as I feel right now.

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb06Euo-gbs

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Umi Juvariel
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting take on the opposite side. I liked your metaphors and the placement of specific words. That made this come to life instead of just being something I read in a contest. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


  • meganmeezy
    March 7
    Edit | Reply

    :]

    love this poem,
    love that song.

    very...relate-able?
    there isn't a word for that.


  • etoile
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    this was so sad, but beautiful at the same time. the last stanza was very powerful, especially the last line.
    i like the second line of the poem a lot. it really hit me hard.

    thanks for entering and goodluck


  • coloringmysenses
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    After reading this, I had to take a deep breath to make sure I actually still had lungs. (:
    This write is beautiful.
    Written with such depth and loss.


  • Lonely Christina
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    awww sad, sweet song and an even sadder poem to go with it..good job this is penned very well


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    oooh interesting, well done hun - I like how the title fits this as well

    best of luck
    love, light & laughter
    Tasha


  • Candy Morphine
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Well i was a little distracted at first by the title. It's really simple, yet says so much in comparision.

    The first two lines really captured the whole mood of the poem.

    Great take on a great song.


  • hamid
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Woow, nice little poem. But it really touches heart. like it says,
    " or so it seemed to me"
    seemed to me this is realistic. i always feel that some i feel not others.
    Thanks for sharing this poet.
    Be Happy
    Ali

1 - 12 of 12