Flashes of worry scar her face
and freeze in her brown eyes
Faint memories of cotton, lace
and fragrant lullabies.
Early morning, child asleep
she wakes unto the fields
Tending to the wooly sheep
worries all unconcealed
With rays of sun, a child’s cries
are heard across the plains
Alone in crops, a woman’s rise
is felt with softest rains.
Weighting on her shoulders
and bringing to her knees
Two lives, heavy as boulders
that she must hold with ease.
Winter drifts like cotton sheets
with binding, bitter cold
When food falters, she seldom eats
her content babe she holds.
Spring bounds in on four-legged feet
her babe’s eyes widen so!
She points and speaks and teaches
through the frosted melting snow.
Now a red-bound book he holds
with small black signs unknown
and with each thinning page he folds
her eyes tear- he’s her own.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I second Knickerdew's comment. Definitely a well-written poem for anyone, but especially for a 13 year old.
Second line, third stanza- "is" should be changed to "are".
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Thank you, that was a hard thing to spot and I missed it! Thanks for making my poem better.
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Such a beautiful poem and the rhyme is perfect! Nothing forced and everything flows from one line to the next.
The content is so touching and written with a delicate yet wise understanding that is not so common of a 13 year old.
You have a definate talent that I think all can appreciate and enjoy.
I hope you recieved a very deserved A !!!
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Wow
This is absolutely beautiful. I have 100's of poems that I had written when I was 13 and nothing compares to this. You have incredible talent which I'm positive will be even more mesmerizing as you get older. Very well done!
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Spring bounds in on four-legged feet
her babe’s eyes widen so!
She points and speaks and teaches
through the frosted melting snow.
This is a very well written beautiful piece.
I love everything about it.
There is nothing I would change.
~~silently-breaking
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this is amazing. I will read it again. It would still be very artful for someone a lot older to have written this, so you are obviously a very gifted girl! Nice!
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I like it
I'm afraid I don't quite understand it very well. Then again, I'm very spacy today so that could be why. I like the rhyming scheme but as i said I don't really get it. All I know is that the mother will do anything for her child. Is that right?
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I understand that you don't get it, in my hurry I didn't get a chance to put an explination in author notes. I wrote this for an english project where you had to find pictures of women and write poems about what it means to be a woman. This had a picture of a mother and child and was in comparison to another poem about how it's so stupid that people starve themselves when people are starving all over the world from lack of money (Also on Allpoetry, called Mirror, Mirror if you're interested.)
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