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between blades of dissatisfaction

 

 

 

 

 

Breast bones shrugged sadness

to step sideways

across stoic shoulders

and pleading ribs

rode waves of angry ash

 

clenching intensity

 

whilst words

shivered several names

of strangers.

 

Honest hues

man-handled her hurts

and she threw fattened fists

from alien arms--

 

climbing towards new capabilities

as mouth muted itself.

 

She starved simple traditions

to push away support networks

and maintained

stilted rapport

with mind's morosity

 

as agoraphobic ails

prevailed only to stitch her

inside of herself

 

and her sighs

swerved so many signs,

to hang as heavy beams

from her soul.

 

She had clung

to rejection's reign

and carried childhood

in neglect's coffin,

whilst painting perfection

along parting shots

 

and hot tears

had skimmed seats

swimming in realisation--

 

acquaintance ached

only within an abyss of abuse;

where clouds were proud

of paedophilic plots

and certificates chose

great days to die...

 

and loneliness

laid without shame

to kiss her final cries,

as insolent ideals

fractured familial faces--

 

hoisting halal rituals

to burn only as cheeks

and too-white teeth.

 

She learned life in last inhales,

gulping love

in economical sentences,

to clip corners

of unwritten walls

inside her beating moans.

 

And as ten timed

its ultimate descent,

ushers usurped

their weary weight

 

and statistics dissolved

in airs

of unfamiliar farewells--

 

like specks of saliva

in retaliation's scent;

 

and so,

care's curtains closed

around her invisible corpse

 

to print "author unknown"

 

 

inside her script.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

4. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.


oh how i enjoyed the writing of this! thanks for the challenge

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Hetha gold member
    March 24
    Edit | Reply
    MInd blowing! This is awesome.

    ~Hettie


  • stasis
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    Emotion: 19/20
    Spelling and Grammar: 10/10
    Beginning and Ending: 9.5/10
    Personal Opinion: 9/10
    Creativity/Originality: 10/10
    Relation to Quote: 10/10
    Imagery/Metaphor/Poetic Devices: 8.5/10 The alliteration got a little crazy in some spots.
    Title: 5/5
    Diction: 4/5
    Line-breaking/Flow: 5/5
    Impact: 4/5

    TOTAL: 94/100


  • EternallyAlone
    February 24

    Edit | Reply

    oh my gosh!!!

    WOW!!!!!! That blew me away, it seemed as if I was experiencing it right there! Makes me afraid to go into dark alleys!!!

  • oldpoets
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    Great metaphor. Within your write I felt that I was bring beaten over the head with your words. Definetly a good write.

  • wizbang99
    February 23
    Edit | Reply

    bravo!

    this is killer!


  • Griswold gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Crap, you know one of these days I just might get one of these abstract free verse poems. I dont know if its because it's 6:30 am and I have not been to sleep yet, or I am too damn old to figure it out. Bits and pieces of it made some sort of sense to me, but overall, I'm totally lost. Best of luck...Scott


  • Dead creature
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO
    Loved it very good!!!

    xoxo
    vivian~

  • patrick20traveler
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is an excellent example of one in which the theme is formulated through a series of complex metaphors which defy an easy paraphrasing into an equivalent prose. In reading it I was plunged into a strangely unfamiliar milieu of sensation, and could not grasp the poem's meaning, kind of the same feeling I get from reading T.S. Elliot.


  • Nom de Plume
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    but then, friends are fleeting, like the cliched ships passing in the night... hardly any remain...
    interesting write and loving the metaphors..

1 - 12 of 12