She sits in
her room. razor
in her hand with
blood dripping
onto her pure
white rug. She
thinks "I give up
in this life full of
lies"
I Give up a voice
tells her. She takes
the razor and puts
it to her writs again.
Slices over and over
until there's no more
room.
She takes the gun
from under her bed.
Puts it to her head.
"I GIVE UP" she
screams. Pulling
the trigger.
She falls to the
floor. Blood
flowing from her
wrists and head.
She lays there
last words spoken
"I give up". There
lays her lifeless body.
Author notes
AP name: e n g l a n d g i r l 2 0 0 8
This is how I felt for the
longest time. I am slowly
getting over feeling like this.
Hope you enjoy
of there is anything
that you would like me to
change let me know
and I'll do it.
- To Write Love On Her Arms Tonight group list • next in list
- the power of darkness group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Dark, cutting, suicide, sadness, depression by stargardt13.
700 points, ended February 28, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Choices Choices where to begin by Shelby K.
439 points, ended April 23, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did you feel when reading this poem?? What came to mind? What would you change?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this was a really good poem. i felt the same way too. take a look at some of mine. umm.....you made a couple of mistakes though. in stanza one add an s at the end of think. and a period after room. other than that good poem. good luck.
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i felt the same way. nuthing could make this poem n e better, its already the best poem ever.
its amazing.
XxKrissxX
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this poem is so sad. you derserve to win the contest with this poem
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That's soo sad... I used to feel like that too, ages ago when I was fourteen. I'm glad you're overcoming it, though. It doesn't need to be changed because it's an emotional piece from the heart. Well except for like a few grammatical things but it doesn't change the feel of the poem.
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1st Stanza, line 7, should "think" be "thinks"?
Very dark feel to it. I hope you are well. I think one day you will have an excellent way of helping others to overcome this sort of thing. Bravo on the write! -
This poem describes the emotions very well. NIce job.
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This is so sad.
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