On her knees
she worships
and prays to Me
like I'm the only God she knows
I tilt her head back
she opens her mouth
I bless her
with My sacrament
Something strange happened
she closed her mouth
but did not keep it
on her tongue
That was the moment
she swallowed
Christ,
My Son
In a list
A contest entry
- Be funny or die! by DumbBaby.
800 points, ended March 4, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite quickie. by Mango Memories.
400 points, ended December 2, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 67 of 67
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This made me laugh! Sensual satire is certainly the best and you definitely captured that so well here. Wonderful job!
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Wow ! This is super matt
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Damn! That's powerful in it's weaving of the 'biblical' lol
Love it!
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whoa!
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LMAO! Great work with this one and thanks a lot
for the laugh here. Congratulations to you on your
first gold and I hope that you do well with it in this one!
Jeremy0826 -
That was really good! Deep...
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SO GOOD. That's riiiiiiight. I am now leaving useless comments because it is 3am and my brain will no longer co-operate! HOWEVER, this is my face
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yeah..you want some jesusss??
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LOL, this is great
good luck in the contest -
This is FANTASTIC!! Like you, I too have made peace with the knowledge that I am going to "hell" (and by "hell", I mean getting put in a dirt hole and rotting just like EVERYONE ELSE!!).
I love this poem! I wonder how many times the second coming of Christ has been swallowed...
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i'm not sure, i stopped counting.
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Ohhhh SNAP!
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Yeah, I thought it was pretty good haha.
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omg that was just toooooooo goddamned funny.
you're awful
lol
Even laughing
at that last line
is gonna get me a room
under the stairs,
on the way down to
the depths of hell.
but damn it if I didnt snort pasta salad into my throat while trying to swallow my humor.
remind me not to read you when Im trying to eat.
love,
jin
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bahaha you are brilliant.
the ending made me laugh.
you have a good way with words haha.. congrats on the gold
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LOL. That was hilarious!
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Good Lord, you really filled her full of the holy spirit! This probably won't buy you a seat in heaven, but what the hell, this was very clever and funny as well. Best of luck in the contest.
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hmmm...interesting...yet im interested
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Ohh my, well I thought at first through reading it once- it was a serious write. Must show how tired I am! Very well done, my friend.
You made me giggle!
Well worth applause.
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this poem made me laugh out loud. and i'm alone in my room. that is a feat.
great great great great. i just reread it and laughed again.
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Haha Hrmmmm. Laughing and still laughing lol Thanks for that best to you in the contest be well.
Take care
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WTF LOL.
thats terrible, i shouldnt laugh but its funny
nicely done!
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You had a brilliant flow to this. I am actually quite impressed with the entire write. Very nice to read you.
J -
that was a laugh out loud for sure, two ways to take this one.
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My God!
Such a clever little piece you have here.
One would think man this guy is dirty minded for sure. lol
I loved this! It made me giggle thats for sure!
Thanks for sharing this!
-Mandi
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LMFAO..
Brilliant Work,I totally loved it. You're very talented
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love it
(and I'm catholic) LOL
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wow
this sounds dirty but i like it hi my name is elektra mail me some time.
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Very nice play non words here, gave me a good giggle that's for sure. Great job. Best to you in the contest
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from the title, i knew haha
its very clever and witty
well done mate
a play on words, well said.
xxx -
Wow, you wrote this so well. lol its a great write and I can see why it won gold. Really funny and shocking at the same time.
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This is very witty!!
I totally got this, which is weird because I never get things
Very amusing and very clever.
Well worth the read
Pure Brilliance....
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oh.. sweet stuff indeed. love it matty-boy! it reminds me of something a friend used to say to me - he would tell me i was the load my mother should have swallowed. yup, nice huh?! good work xx
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haha yes, nice friend.
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wooooow
clever words play
i totally love
one of my favourites
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx -
Haha! Witty word play, I like!
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"Bless her with my sacrament"
*laughs* That's rich & clever, for sure. Congrats on the gold.
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Okay, this was wrong. I got offended but laughed at the same time, couldn't help it. This was funny! Thanks for your entry and good luck.
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That is ballsy like the piss christ! Damn man...
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Holy hell...I had to read this twice to make sure I read it right. Um... I read it right
Stacy
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hahahahah
thiis made me giggle
i like this alot lolol
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Congratulations on winning a gold with this imagery filled piece. Thanks for sharing in my contest.
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LMAO!!!!
I LOVE IT!
We think so alike... haha...
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a hot mess
so are you saying the girl suck you -
this is just plain wicked! I love it!
this is going to be bookmarked...
you really are pretty damn good
love, lane
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PMSL!...This is brilliant. It's bookmarked until I can put it in a list of favourites. I will get down to it one day. Oops...I didn't mean that in that way.
Mariana
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...Lmao, I don't know what this is about. Fellatio or church?!!?!?!?!
XD -
Not a religious man myself, but this poem makes me think I should reexamine some of my beliefs.
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Omg, whew, amazing write. Don't think I have ever come across it written in such a way. Loved it.
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Hey...
I could get it all.......
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get all of what?? lol
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A little nasty in some aspects...lol. But that adds to my hilarity that I received by reading it! lol again! Thanks for this one, man!
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smile.... this is sooo good. I like it... I can just imagine what all your referring too... I think I need to wash my mind out with soap. Good write. I like it.
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better than a snowball!!
Now, that was funny. great write.
-medi
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Haha... I'm sorry I just can't quit laughing! Another great write! Enjoyed reading it!
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lol this is hilarious. good job
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haha..ahhh i get it now lol
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i can see Catholic communion written all over this..hehe funny
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well ,pretty sacreligious ..it's my analogy of blowjobs/communion
basically a sarcastic response to my ex telling me i'm not god lol
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LOL! This had me cracking up!!!
I enjoyed reading this and the laugh it gave me Hee Hee
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this is hilarious! This is the first time I have ever cracked up over a poem..
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glad you liked ...clearly you have an incredible sense of humor
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this little blasphemy is humorous but misguided---do you suffer the keirkagard complex??
Joe
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That was part of the intended humor in this
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I'm with you... I don't know what the keirkagard complex is either... sounds painful though.
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