It frightens me to feel
The latches coming loose
Unhinged mind melting in time
Tripping on corner carpet floating
Into my path
Aware of impermanence of every breath
Who will wash the stains from my pants
Never feeling you on my skin
I see your form in branches, leaves
The curl of squirrel tail looking deep in eyes
The wren picking pear petals loosed in frost
From flint flagstones
Too many climb only near the trunk
Silent sister of cellulose and lignin
I sway in your branch ends
Reaching deep into your outstretched hand
The fruit is sweeter here
And I can see far far, far away
To the provisions for the sadness
Of eternity
Sounding of midnight vixen
Hiding in red shadow
Crying her longing
to be touched
by salvador
Author notes
The provisions for the sadness of eternity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TipLsmZgjI
Revelations 21:4
A contest entry
- Dream Brother (Contest) by just mercedes.
2000 points, ended March 2, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Midnight Hours by Daxteriana.
400 points, ended October 23, 114 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
This is touching and beautifully written, I love those lines
"Too many climb only near the trunk
Silent sister of cellulose and lignin
I sway in your branch ends
Reaching deep into your outstretched hand"
this is indeed a magical write,
So very well done.


-
Brilliant ...
in too many ways to contemplate ...
Love
Myra


-
-
Someday, come contemplate them...
-
-
Thank you for this entry in the contest. There are some beautiful images of life in this poem, observations of the natural world that the poet explores as a validation of faith. Yet your first line shows your distance from both the artists used in the prompt - they were not frightened.
The final stanza of your poem is lovely, but I think it would be improved by the excision of the final line.

-
-
Not frightened? Clocks melting like pizzas and sliding off the table? a fascination with dissected cadavers? I realize I am bringing a fresh interpretation, and perhaps you have a deeper and more consensical understanding of the art (Bowing to your superior intellect)
BUT; that seems a nagging fear of death to me...
I chafe under your prejudicial use of "excision..." Maybe you don't mean to, but you are denigrating my essence. I agree with Gilbert Keith Chesterton that men are looking for God in every bottle, and every brothel. And I thought you might appreciate certain intangibles in the piece. Please understand, though, I love the piece, and would never have written it with out your inspiration and help! Holding you in very high regard
Ben
-
-
When apoeticinjustice and I correspond so much of his life is about his horse and rodeo days. With you it is the man atune to nature that is hunting prey. You can make a tree your sister and make the hunt romantic. I stare at wire mesh gates on an asphalt street yet I try to capture the world you live in. You make it breath and live and my world is a little different for that. I hope you do well in the contest, but that isn't what makes it for me. It's that you can bring me with you as you travel outside my existence from day to day. I am out of happy clappy men or people or whatever they are. All i know is that when I give them I lose points. I think the best thing for me to say is that, "I thank you" that I can go places I never will touch because of your writing. RC
-
ah you heard and wrote.


-
To the provisions for the sadness
Of eternity
Sounding of midnight vixen
Hiding in red shadow
the highlight of one insanely enjoyable surrealistic trip. Kudos and best of luck with the contest.

1 - 8 of 8







