The river roamed across land claimed fair
men claimed back a share, to cross here to there
and now the gentle arc and ogees span
granite pillars upon greater bedrock stand
a portal to another place of human invention
to house the better spirits of their intentions:
to live well and in abundance grow; to be more
than disheveled rabble cast upon another's shore
unwanted some, pursued some others, seeking free choice
at cost of survival of hosts, lost to silenced voices
so in the grand light of a new day bends
when red sun finds brick faced friend
and beauty of near stillness, thaw and waken
dew lies upon cobblestones too; moss slaken
in cracks and crevices, life insists and persists
delicate color, from honest work of hands resists
the crumble of time, and all around aromas float
on air untroubled by her soot-ed coat
now dispelled, yet to rise and recolor skies
in the flavors of industry, my city... rough hewn gem
the mirror of a hopeful day, man's busy anthem.
Author notes
In a list
A contest entry
- WONDERFUL WILLIAM by Old Poetry.
1500 points, ended April 14, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Soo soo nice.. Very wel lwritten, much in lines with the master poet!!
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I absolutely adore your use of language in this magnificent piece. My friend, I have always loved your work and this is no exception.
"on air untroubled by her soot-ed coat" - I am not certain it gets much better than this. So well done. Thoroughly enjoyable as I have come to expect.
~Pamela
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I like this one, the rhymes are well done and so is the rhythm you put here. Lovely imageries and thoughts too.
well done
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You commented on my Wordsworth poem so kindly. The contest holders asked us to vote for three poems. I chose yours first because your distinction of language and ideas are clear and beautiful. Your poem, above all the others has a cohesion and a tense quality that makes a discerning reader recognize a discerned mind. All your poems, taken as I have come across them, bear your stamp of tight thought and novelistic exposition. I always leave readings of your words with generous thoughts for you in my mind.
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There are some beautiful lines in this poem I will not pick them out as to do so would demote all the rest of a wonderful poem.Images were painted in ones eye with your words
Well done Good luck in the contest
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It is good to find someone who can still enjoy and find inspiration in the "man" made landscapes and structures of today.
The only jarring note for me in the whole piece was the use of "his/her" it may be PC but for me it is bad poetry. Might I suggest "mortal" or "personal" invention as a non-sexist replacement.
I liked the line
when red sun finds brick faced friend
as it immediately conjured up a remembered scene in my memory of a brick bridge on a early evening walk.
Good work and good luck
Jim
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jarred me too...to remember i wanted to come back to that... "his and her" is the idea there, thanks for noticing... thank you for your all of your helpful comments ...PK
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sigh~
William is wonderful indeed, and so is PK....
This is exquisite in its rhyme and form and beautiful language and imagery...You always have a way of beinging a sigh
Lynda
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