Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Called Truce Beneath the Golden Bough

Missing image
slow steps, less awkward in full stride
Heid sits silent knowing somehow
Hrolf's afoot sniffing high tide's bow
two acorns float, in waters side-

to a bend in creek, aloft
conjoined, severed and subdivide
bide the time pass, appreciate
dawn's cry of birds sweep for branch
glittered in leaf morn's dew, Heid waits-
knowing, fleet-footed and sure.

troth made to later disavow
sharp sword to each, time still coincides
what is to be, not known 'til tried
called truce beneath the golden bough.

expectant, as acorn's autumn fell
scent strong, Hrolf follows fir lead-
hesitant eyes, blade edge point down
to behold and soak once sacred bride
truth's moment not lost to folly
Heid asks Hrolf in native tongue,

"eika blad stilk imellom finger, av elv møte
hva ville du bringe til bevissthet det Kingston bord?"Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Author notes

Option 2) Heal a heart - write a poem about forgiveness or hope, or a poem that comforts, can use your own experiences to create such a piece.

 

Title relates to an antiquated Scandinavian custom, in which two enemies, if they meet below mistletoe, growing from an oak tree, they are to lay down their armaments and call a truce until another day. The 'golden bough' is mistletoe, as it wilts.


Norwegian to English translation:
"oak leaf stemmed between fingers, by river meet
what will you bring to the king's table?"

 

"Two acorns float, in waters side"-relates to a type of love divination, where two acorns are dropped into a water bowl, a creek or river. If they float together, the couple will be married, if they drift apart, so will the couple.

 

La' libertas
Latin for "liberty"
Form created by Laura Lamarca

Form details:
Stanza 1 - rhyme scheme ABBA, 8 syllables per line.
Stanza 2 - Free verse, 6 lines ONLY
Stanza 3 - Rhyme scheme BAAB, 8 syllables per line.
Stanza 4 - Free verse, 6 lines ONLY
Couplet - Italian (Any language acceptable)

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • toomysterious
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is so technically brilliant I feel totally unqualified to comment, but I must say the story told is touching and well done from my viewpoint.

  • piccola silver member
    March 2

    Edit | Reply
    great job working within a defined structure with difficult subject matter. your poetry is always clear and crips, I admire that. thank you for entering


  • BearWoman gold member
    February 28

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    Excellent job of following the defined structure (with a couple of minor exceptions) and rhyming requirements, not always an easy thing. Nice imagery, choice of words, combinations of words, flow. I read the story in this, which I liked, yet wish I could read the closing stanza! :-( Suggestions for tweaks:

    S1 L1 I counted 7 syllables (in American "English" dictionary)
    S1 L4 make "water" plural to fit the contest specs (nice weaving in of that symbolism, by the way)
    S3 L2 counted 9 syllables (remove "does"?)


    • Hetha gold member
      February 28
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so very much. I appreciate the extra critique and good eye, for catching some of these things.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for sharing this beautiful write with me today. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future and am wishing you the best of luck in this contest that we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie


  • Star Shine
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    How lovely. Classic style carries this tale aloft. It is strong but gently told. Well done. Nice tutorial as well.


  • daemonfae
    February 24
    Edit | Reply

    Gorgeous!

    This is stunning work! Thank you! Please take some time to have a look at mine.


  • daemonfae
    February 24
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! I have no words!


  • Blue30
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    Good luck o the contest. The poem had such beautiful imagry anf flow. A really great write. Nice job.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    February 23

    Edit | Reply

    JESUS..

    I was loving this already but when I read the author's notes and better understood the terminology used I'm freaking blown away!! wow this is an amazingly detailed form and it appears to me you did it masterfully!!! and gosh what great imagery and flow this had..well done my friend...

  • A-muse-in-writer
    February 23
    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    I enjoyed this, very unusual and an interesting insight into a scandanavian custom.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    An intriguing creation that floats long after the read. I love foreign language and the names breathed exotic lands long before the ending confirms. I also knew the form as familiar and this "ode" seems to fit it well. I have always admired those who can seamlessly fit legend to
    a more contemporary feel and you do....you do.
    Blue


  • DayDreamMuse
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it, but to be honest the shrift was painful for me to read. It scrunched the words and I barely got the rhythm togather, but when I did it was bliss. Bliss. Bliss. Your attention to detail in a scenic picture is breath taking and the metapjors and allusions. It swayed my mind.


  • poet360
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I love it! Your words are amazing. However, I would like to be able to read those amazing words a little better. maybe it's just me, but i can't read it very well =/
    I love it though!!
    =)


  • poetmaster32
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    very unique and interesting. nice job.


  • Dead creature
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Good poem great words
    Loved the emagery this very good
    Well done Sweetie best luck in the contest
    Xoxo
    vivian~


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    Loved the nature in the poem.  Lots of form, and imaginasry. This is a wonderful read, good luck in the contest. It was a pleasure to read.


  • maralisa silver member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful poem I love your imagery and depth throughout good luck in the contestmaralisa


  • liltulip gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    lots of form, and your words paint imagery in the mind...thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Form wise, L4 requires a different end word/rhyme to L1...otherwise you've nailed the form

    Content-wise, this is as rich as I've become accustomed to with your poetry.

    Do well in the contest.


    Love you sis. Laura

    • Hetha gold member
      February 22
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, (I just now noticed that too, and am working on fixing it.)
      I'm honored that you were the first to view it.

      Love you too, sis,
      Hettie

1 - 21 of 21