Abandoned webs lay content
within the peaceful solitude of my mausoleum mind
Painful distractions confronted by
an emotionally determined juggernaut are obliviated
into the realms of nevermore
Deceptive realities of corriander colored sunsets atop the mountains and valleys of periwinkle kisses
have been blown into the guarded shadows of my memories
Once ago a beating heart resided inside this hollow chest...
Fatefull events drained my life of living
churning my soul with angst and sorrow,
drying the ovum of my essence.
Author notes
Knickerdew
A contest entry
- All Poets Love To Roll Words Around In Their Mouths ~Take 3~ by Star of Atlantis.
700 points, ended March 23, 2009, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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ok i have read all the entrants now its your turn read comment and vote. you can not vote for yourself and you must privately tell me who you vote for and the poem you yourself wrote so i will know you followed the rules. when every ones vote ive recieved then i will give my results.
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yes that is it! i am glad you went back and tweeked this a few times cause i think the format is finally right. there is so much more that is in this poem now. i love the auto pauses that happen and i like the more atherial feel that this poem now has. i thank you for the journey through this poem again. thank you. good luck in the contest.
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Good Write
I guess you did go in a different direction than I did. Good stuff though.
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I love the use of the words in your poem, that was great how you incorprated them into the lines, I agree the words were challanging to use and thats what made it so much fun Good luck in the contest
Romeo -
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Thanks for the comment
and yeah they are a challenge making it fun, causing me use my imagination LOL.
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This is pretty awesome, would be a valiant effort without a contest to spur it on.
The sorrow and despair seeps fromt the very pores.
Wonderful
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Awe... thanx! Hope to read something from you here!
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Nicely written with a difficult set of words to have to use. You did admirable, i hope we get more entries.
Best of luck...Scott
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i hope there are more entries too so tell a friend and get them in here
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Thanks! And Yeah I hope we get more entries too, it will be interesting to read other poets takes on the words!
Maybe I'll send some links to other poets?
Anyway, thank you again for the comment and best of luck to you as well
Nicole
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yes please send the link to all your friends i like to have a lot to look through and i know i dont make it easy on purpose... i look for the best and the ones who think a little my dad always said if it was easy any one could do it and hard is good for you... so yes please tell your friends i need some more poems in here
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ok more on the jems... wow i love the sencery on this i really do...
corrander used as a color when it has a sent and a taist... now that makes that rich on the sences. one other thing... i think i will keep coming back with addons to my original notes... the line brakage is a bit off i think for this one but that is small in the bigger picture of these things i find as i read yet a second time -
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This has got to me the most challenging, enjoyable contest and you have left such a wonderful comment.
It shows that you get it and that you read behind the possiblities.
Thank you.
I changed the line breakage in an attempt to make it read with more meaning but I am not sure if I did more harm than good LOL.
Thank you again for reading this and looking passed the obvious.
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thank you for the compliment on the contest. i am glad you like it. i tend to have contests a bit harder but i think there is a lot of the same ole same ole on here so i like to leave a different footprint. i never get the kind of turn out i would like to have so if you can spread the word i would be much apperciated. the line brakage is better... i think not perfect yet but definatlly much better i blush that you looked at my advice on this thank you
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i have to say i smile as i read this... the words of my word bank are not easy and have made you dig very deep to get them all in and still be something cohesive. you prove it can be done. i am very happy and impressed. now on to the poem and the things i noticed upon my pondering. first of all you have a lot of what i call jems in the poem. you have the essences i am talking about when i say let me feel your poem on every sensation. my favorite of these jems is periwinkle kisses.... wow that a kiss could be that color there is so much in that. the softness the sadness or the bliss and possibly both. but regardless the remembered kiss. i like also where they go into the gaurded shadows. i imaggine these words coming out of my dearest friends mouth. he is one of those kins of people who has to help others to the point of saving nothing of himself. he stands in the shadows gaurding himself and watching the kisses (help) he gives others from the wings and not the stage. i also love how this poem starts... its like wondering through one of those old atics like in the begining of the movie goonies, and just knowing you're going to find some wonderful treasure or adventure just waiting around the next covered mirror... or perhaps under the cover. i like the consept that the begining sugests that the mind of the voice of this poem is dead but that if you really dive into the text of the poem as i have you find its very active deep and full of life. i also like how you work backwords to the start of life and tha the ovum is really what is dead before the experience has a chance to harm the one who is garded in the shadows of the earlier line. i also like the causes of the death or precieved death that is spoken of in the mind cause i often feel my own mind slipping under some of these very same struggles... very impressive i will enjoy coming back to this a few tiems over before i make my final judgements... you have just made this contest hard. and you have set a high standard for others to compete with. good luck in the contest ... one last thing you didnt tag this poem, please tell me your name so that i can go and read some of your other poems... if you can impress me with this one i want to see what else you wright. thank you for sharing and once again good luck.
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Powerfull poetry as always, you weave great images with words, blessings with love John
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HUGZ
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intense
dark, brooding..very descriptive piece with alot of imagery that adds to the impact of this write, right down to the heart of the soul that aches..good good write my friend even though it's very dark in content..
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i like the comment on this poem that you left i think it means that you dived into it as i did and am still... i think if you havent yet written for my contest here you need to do it and give this poem some compitition
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LOL
Thanks for the comment friend, yes I know I write dark.
But that's just kinda what rears it's ugly head once I get started.
Much luv to ya -
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i find it odd that upon reading what others here have read that they see only the dark i hope they dig a bit deeper as pere there is a lot more than the darkness here...
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