You Won't Notice.

Today I took my heart back. I gave you the key- literally, and foolishly. My heart near yours always - a quaint notion in which I once firmly believed. But as time wore on and your love for me wore out, I began to realise the truth: When I gave you the key I gave you control. It was as if I gave you the key to my house and did not even keep a copy for myself. You had control over my heart, over my body, over ME. Your anger terrifies me, but your indifference and detached puppetry disturb me far more. You stopped wearing it. That bothered me. You said all of your chains were broken; I gave you new ones. It still sat in that ugly box. You used to say beautiful things to me in your sleep. Now your dreaming monologues are laced with arsenic. I was a fool. I put everything into you and us. I allowed myself to become dependant on you. Now I pay the price- and it is steep.


I lay in bed alone (again) and cried. You know all that has transpired recently, and yet I lie in agony alone. I should have known, you were just as callous the last time. Then, as a gift from Muse it came to me. "Take it back," little voices whisper, "Take back the key. Take back control." So I did. So simple. So - liberating. Besides, you won't notice. I am a person of symbol, of metaphor, and this gave me back my sanity. I do still love you...and I'll smile and let it all continue. I will act 'till the credits roll; I will sing your praises with a gilded smile and when it's all over I will have my Oscar.

My heart is not yours to control; perhaps someday if you want to wear it, my heart will find its way back to yours, but now and forever onward -I- am the only one who holds the key.