Twinkle Twinkle little star
How unfortunate you are
To sit in the ski all night and day
While other’s send wishes your way
They wish for love, fortune and fame
They wish for everyone to know their name
They wish to be tall, skinny and smart
They wish and believe in you with all their heart
But they do not know the feelings that you have
And that sometimes you make their wishes go bad
The fact that we get to walk around feely
Fills the stars heart with jealousy
So with a hateful stare it throws our wishes back
And with each wish thrown, the star gains a crack
And before long the star loses its shine
And it plummets to the ground, with beauty divine
And before it hit’s the ground it grants one final wish
One for a mother, and her young daughter’s happiness
The star makes its penance as it strikes the ground
Though through its tears it never makes a sound
‘I’m sorry’ the star cries for all the ignored wishes in the past
‘I wish I could go back and fix them’ but it’s fading fast
Its wish has been thrown back by another
Who doesn’t want to bother
As the star continues to throw them back
He starts to gain all his cracks
So watch for the star in the ski that looks mad
And keep your wishes for another that won’t make them bad
And remember the saying that is so true
Keep it in your heart close to you
If you make a wish on a broken star
You dreams will not make it very far
A contest entry
- Your Favorite Nursery Rhyme by Tqop.
650 points, ended February 27, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Interesting.
-
It's kind of sad.
It's really pretty though.
I like the way you personified the star.
I like the rhymes. -
Fantastic Twist
Careful of plagerism, dear one: need first line within quote marks, as it is a direct line from another's published works. And, your poem should have it's own unique title instead of using one already published and copyrighted. How about "The Star Gains a Crack" ~~ a bit of a punch that draws in the reader.
Nevertheless, you have taken a rather clever approach to the old rhyme and done it well by creating a whole other story. I really like it and feel you have met the contest prompt. So, GOLD it is!
Luv & hugs, BonnieQ
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