Suture it well, all-knowing surgeon; you
Carelessly toss red tumours into bags
That I might resurrect in hospital tags ...
And so we come, we go, the old, the new.
The pastor brings me God but God is here!
All roads must lead to death, and death, to Christ.
And ever, doctors' fees are overpriced ...
Professionals' smooth road to Hell, I fear.
Dear God, you have me as you wish right now
Lying flat, and wired, bound by drips.
I could unplug just one and come; my lips
Pay homage to your will, each nod a bow.
Great Physician, bless the nurses' wrong
For stirring earthy thoughts within my mind;
Conspire with them to firmly, fairly bind
My eyes from lust to trust, serene in song.
A contest entry
- A selection of style choices. by Aedara-Wren.
1650 points, ended February 26, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended November 30, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please critique.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Congratulations on the gold! You've said in four verses the words I've been trying to say for over a month now. My muse has grown reluctant over the past half year. I've come to realize that while free will may determine your ultimate destination it won't buy the ticket.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Congratulations ...
I'm glad you and micol entered this contest.
Good job on the poem, but I hope it never comes to that.
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Jim
Thank you. Keep as well as possible.
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Well done. You capture both the mood and the form of the Metaphysicals, and at the same time create a juxtaposition of image and thought that is at once eternal and distinctly contemporary. Well done indeed.
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Thank you.
I must say as a free verse writer, I enjoyed this exercise.
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An ingenious poem merging faith and humanity without uniting them but without seperating them either. A really good poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Dear me!
Thank you very much for the gold trophy.
I am humbled your hospitality, with patience, came to my poem.
Ron.
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Thank you, dear poet.
I think that you are insightful but that would be boasting on my part.
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I love the metaphysical in this piece. It speaks to me like the visual of a rose opening to reveal its inner self.
";my lips
Pay homage to your will, each nod a bow."
Elegant and nobel picture here as I also picture you, Ron.
Lovely work. Good luck to you,
~Mary O
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Dear Mary
Thank you so much.
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