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[My love for you is endless and of pure devotion]

I dropped a tear in the ocean for you,
and i won't stop loving you until i get it back.
Can you see what I'm trying to tell you?
Or do i have to give you another clue?

Here goes.
My love, is like dropping a tear in the ocean,
its obvious i won't be able to find it again,
which means my love for you is endless and of pure devotion.

There will never be a day I'll find it back,
even if i did,
I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
and turned into a beautiful pearl.



Author notes

Eternal Pain.

Prompt: i dropped a tear in the ocean for you and i won't stop loving you till i get it back.

I think its a little short, advice please?

A contest entry

What do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Night Terrors
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    hmm that was intersting I think you should move on if he makes you cry a lot. I think you have some beautiful lines.


    The Positives:
    You have a lot of great imagery and emotion in this that I find fasinating


    Room For Improvement:
    I is a proper noun it needs to be capitalized no matter what. Think of it as a substitution for your name.




    My Favorite Part:
    There will never be a day I'll find it back,
    even if i did,
    I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
    and turned into a beautiful pearl.

    That was a powerful ending
    Overall:

    I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • Antebellum
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    It is short...but its sweet.
    " i dropped a tear in the ocean for you and i won't stop loving you till i get it back."

    this is one of my favorite quotes and you worked with it perfectly.


  • sorries
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write and btw I love your user name.


  • Room without doors gold member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    This is very poetic - I loved the whole concept of a solitary tear falling into the ocean never to be found again. This is an artistic poem that speaks of true love. Congratulations on the trophy.


  • Super-man
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning.

    As always.


  • SimplyNoodle
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    I like this good job, keep writting.
    ~ Chelsey


  • The-namesless-one
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is beautiful. It really expresses your emotions and give other an idea of what you're going through. Be it true or not.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful and moving.
    I really enjoyed reading this one.
    Thanks for sharing it here!




    Jeremy0826


  • Rhythm Child
    February 28
    Edit | Reply
    i loved the opening line
    perfect way to start the poem


  • Shuberth
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    once again a very good poem from you,
    a very good piece i have to say


    Keep up the good writes

    Shuberth


  • August Starlight silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful! And sad... great take on the prompt, especially the second stanza. I hope you win that contest, good luck!


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    Hummz. Put some deepness in it when you are speaking about Ocean
    otherwise, fine!

    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • Spiritual Soul
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    wow this.is.amazing. I love every word, such pure love and devotion in this piece. Beautiful write, it's perfect. Good luck in the contest, this was awesome.
    Blessings,
    ~Michaela~


  • untouched pages
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with could...

    There will never be a day I'll find it back,
    even if i did,
    I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
    and turned into a beautiful pearl.


    i think are the best lines in the whole write.. keep up the great penning poet!!


  • couldbeworse
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    fav

    There will never be a day I'll find it back,
    even if i did,
    I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
    and turned into a beautiful pearl.

    fabulous piece!


  • Beauty Of Silence
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    wow wow wow! your imagination is so beautifully wild girl. there were so many lines here that were striking, but this was the best part:

    "I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
    and turned into a beautiful pearl"

    awww its so beautiful! keep penning!


  • StillLovingYou
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    o my goodness i really like this my favorite part is : I'm sure it would've gotten into a shell,
    and turned into a beautiful pearl.


    i love this poem


  • StillLovingYou
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    your prompt is : "i dropped a tear in the ocean for you and i won't stop loving you till i get it back"

1 - 36 of 36