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[broken] promise

I begged you to stay with me,
To put up with all the shit,
For a few more days.

I promised that I'd help you,
That I'd take away all your pain,
That you would survive through this.

I gathered up all you're sadness,
Withdrew it from you're broken heart,
And injected it in my own,
So you wouldn't have to cry anymore.

And every night I'd pray to the God,
That I no longer believed in,
To give you the strength to pull through.



Yet here I am,
Standing in front of your grave,
Black clouds cover the sky,
And rain continually falls,
Just like the tears on my face.

Inside, my heart is breaking,
Because I know it was all my fault,
I made a promise to help you.
But I let you down,
I let you die,
And for that,
I can never forgive myself.

Author notes

R.I.P David 1991 - 2008

At around 3.20 am on the 5th of December, my best friend commited suicide.
His birthday was on the 17th of December.
He was 12 days away from his 16th birthday.

And it was all my fault.
I was the only person who could have stopped him.
And I failed...

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • MysteriousWhisper
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    oh guilt is the most wicked ghost. this is very sad and hard to read. i mean it is a good read but this is something that makes me want to cry. good job and good luck in the contest!


  • DarkAngel85
    March 23

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    you nearly brought me to tears. i can't say i know what it feels like though. an absolutely amazing write


  • Artemis Huntress
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    You got me to tears. I know how that feels, i worry about my best friend every day that she'll cut the wrong vein.

    Yet here I am,
    Standing in front of your grave,
    Black clouds cover the sky,
    And rain continually falls,
    Just like the tears on my face.

    is my fave part.


  • csmmoms2
    March 2

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    What a gut-wrenching write you went through to do this.
    My best friend died in my arms and when you "kiss" a corpse and try to breath life into someone...it stays with you forever, -c


  • A x e l
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    Always remember

    The light in your heart shines true when you are put on the spot of loss or danger. I can feel your words burn brightly from your writing.
    I truely sympathize with you, My dear Lae.
    Please don't beat yourself up over the loss of your friend. If you were there for him, and you listened to him speak his problems, it truely makes you a better person than alot of people in this world.
    If you ever need anything, I am here to talk to as well.

    -Axel


  • fake-or-real-smile
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    Ooooh hun, it isn't your fault. Trust me, I may not know him or you but if someone wants to commit suicide, they will do it whatever you say. You might have been able to take the pain away for a short while but it was always there for him, you were an amazing friend being there for him. Remember that. And I'm sure he loved you greatly for everything you did.

    I'm here if you want to talk.

    XX

1 - 9 of 9