Your ghostly presence captivates me,
for you are charmer of aggressive seas
Bleeding eyes I perceive there,
brutal as ever I bloody swear,
certainly the fear I smell
Shiver of reverence in this lonely motel,
river of horror in a chamber of death,
and there your presence will take,
my last dying breath
Author notes
The ghost of a murdered soul gets his revenge.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark, Despair, Doom by MaddCuppyCake.
425 points, ended February 27, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts I'll much appreciate
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This certainly fills the reader with the sense of despair and gloom re the scene you have set, plenty of imagery there,
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this is lovely, it didn't need alot of explaining, its short and profound, loved it.
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Love the imagery, it really gets across the darkness of the story in such a short number of lines.
Also really love how the last part is broken up, to leave the words
"my last dying breath"
on their own. Great poem!
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Brilliant piece here, effective in imagery and tells a story in so few words.
My only suggestion is that punctuation is your friend
Best to you in the contest
Shari
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xxxkatexxx
The way u write how u feel is asum! Ur poetry really good.
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