Picture-perfect,
militarily erect,
smiles set
by Kodak -
as sharp as
35mm edges,
yet not so deep;
Traceless
as your face’s
reflection,
no molecules
were damaged
in performing
the glassy lie.
What beguiling charm
or irresistible force
stole compassion’s soul
to the other side
of this mirror,
wraps his warmth
around my chill counterpart,
and left me
You?
Author notes
doppelganger: a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person
*POW contest*
theme: contemplating a personality through an old photo and mirror reflections
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW - by Bear by Arkbear.
1110 points, ended February 23, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Clicking right along like a marching beat. This poem just bops. I love the way it cuts and starts in little bursts. It makes the story more electric.
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Congratulations on the silver award, this is excellent, wonderfully captures the prompt!
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Hello -
First impresson.......dating your work is not somethi9ng I recommmend for Poets.....just as the Wizard of Oz is timeless, so should your Poetry be -
....so, when you say, 35mm....OR....molecules....those images take me away from your write and makes me focus on other things....even, if only for a brief moment....and for me, that is not good -
You have a gift of imagery and visuals.....and I want you to read the entry entitled, *All For Naught* by Xianaria....2 entries back I believe -
Look at how he spoke of blood cells, and molecular structure, without actually saying....molecule -
As far as YOUR write....brilliant!
....I say top 2 or 3 reads for this POW.....you enjoy showing off for your Judges and Readers, and that is what I like to see....I enjoy watching a Poet take their talnet and burst forth onto my contest pages with no holds barred
Let my board say the rest.....well done and thank you for entering
Bear ~
Title 9.5....had me curious..yes, I would click on it just to find out what it was about -
Flow 9.95....great Flow....your word choices created the Tone and made for good reading -
Depth 9.55.. depth is okay...a tad wordy though and not enough guts to your Theme? -
Theme 9.75....a nice Theme ...just not as in-depth as I like to see....and even with only 23 L's available, it is still possible to bring more to the table -
Feelings 7.5...lacking feeling considerably -
Grammar 9.25.. nice grammatical choices....just not as Poetic as I look for -
Presentation 9.6....I enjoy a Poet who is not cliche'-format-intensive -
Uncommonness...9.55...creative for sure..but I believe, the balance of * Show & Tell* are off slightly -
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.70...I did ponder....had toread it a few times -
Ability to follow Rules 10.0...perfect....nice job
-Bears Score: 94.35
Very nice
No editing once a Judge has touched your work -
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Actually you wrote this poem well and your prompt was very interesting, I could feel this presence as I read.
Good luck in the contest, I like the way its written!!
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Clappies did not take.
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Hello and welcome to this week's POW!
A very profound poem with wonderful sound - alliteration and assonance, subtly applied. The imagery is unusually phrased and captured my attention. Every word and phrase is perfection, nothing lacking or extra.
This poem made me think and ponder for a while. It is only now, 2 days later, that I understood the final piece of this poem, and what reality I found has hit me like a ton of bricks.
I feel the pained heart of the writer, for the mirror stole his soul, and you are left with a cold distant shadow to play what should have been a larger than life person in your childhood, and in your family's life now. Yes, I can relate. What you grieve is what I also grieve.
This poem reaches way beyond contest entry. When contemplated and understood, it pierces the heart.
What more could a poet hope for?
Scores will be posted when contest is judged. Do not make any changes once a judge has commented.
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Very profound ...
with imagery complete and that which was left behind by your poem leaves much to contemplate. Aaaahhhh, pretty as a picture and mirror be gone!
j
y
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and for everyone else...
Doppelganger....there is always a good one, and a bad one, your evil and good side! Said to be very bad news
if you meet your doppelganer... -
Aloha!
It's funny, I just wrote a poem about a doppelganger...
lol...is it in "the air"? Best wishes in the contest...and always...
I love the first stanza!
Write on!
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I learned a new word and love your poem!
How did I not know this doppelganger word? It is as fabulous an idea as a "changling," which freaks me out, too. Love your poem, oh I DO! 
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Love the title! I like anything on doppelganger's....fascinates me.
I like your wording - the depth to it. I especially like,
'no molecules
were damaged
in performing
the glassy lie.'
Best wishes in the contest.
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