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Notes on the window pane

Missing image

She’s lying in the empty bed, the one they used to share
still can feel his presence like a spectral being there
but it cannot console her, the way he always would
she is hurting more now than she thought she ever could.

Outside a storm is tearing up the solace of the night
anxiety is growing and there’s no relief in sight
though they agreed it couldn’t last he came out ahead
while she was left alone to keep the empty lovers bed


Rain drums the darkened window pane
wet whispers engraved in the dust
tomorrow their tracings will stare at her
like iron that’s gone to rust
the metal she thought he was made of
all just a dream she created
the whole of the visions of their love
expired when they separated


She’s crying still each passing night, the tears she locks inside
no one knows she’s hurting she’s learned too well to hide
the misery of being the one who had to say
she could go on without him when she watched him walk away

Lightening flashes sear the edge of evening’s sultry air
for a moment she imagines he’s listening somewhere
   that he’s feeling the way she does, wanting desperately

   it could be as when they first met, the way it used to be


Rain drops are empty love notes
which hauntingly torment the soul
tear through the vitals so jaggedly
a blade that is painfully dull
how does he think she’ll get by now
How can she ever let go
she’d hate if she could but then somehow
  that would make the weight more to tow

Yes, that would make the weight more to tow

Author notes

Forgiven not Forgotten by the Corrs

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • I love the picture you chose to go with this poem. You expressed the song well, in fact you are the only one to stay on topic so to say. Thank you very much for entering my contest.
    Cheryl


    • Rovingone gold member
      March 2
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, thankyou. I loved the group and their music. It's an honor to know you liked the poem. I truly loved the contest.


  • Sandygram
    February 21

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful Poem!!!!

    You always keep amazing me with your fantastic poetry. This was stunning and really tugs at my heart. I could feel every word. This definitly deserves the Gold. Truly heartfelt words. You take care.

    Bless You,
    Sandy


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful response to the song (which I love by the way)
    Quite beautifully penned indeed, with so much detail.
    Best wishes to you in them contest.
    Gaylene


  • BonnieQ silver member
    February 20

    Edit | Reply

    Poignant, Sad

    This is exceptional, Ed! You have clearly covered all the bases of emotions felt when a relationship breaks apart. And, I well understand "She'd hate" yet feel that the final line should present a bit of good advice: i.e. "No, it would make the weight more to tow." The meter remains the same. One typo: "to well to: -- too well to.

    Therefore, excellent is the grade here and surely fills the contest prompt, especially if you change that last line to give a hint of forgiveness. GOLD it is!

    Much luv & hugs, SisBon

    • Rovingone gold member
      February 20
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      Good idea Bonnie, that did sound more fitting. Especially with the theme forgiven but not forgotten. I made the changes.

1 - 6 of 6