Yesterday,
I felt my heart breaking
as I watched
as you ever so slowly walked away from me.
I could tell
by the way you moved
this was something
you weren't sure you wanted
yet, for some reason
a reason I do not understand
you turned from me
without a single spoken word
you opened the door
and walked right out of my life.
I felt the scalding hot tears
fall from my face
as I watched you go.
I felt myself taking a step forward
wanting
wishing
hoping
that the door you had closed between us
would open
and you,
realizing your mistake
would be there
with your arms wide
encircling me
telling me that you loved me
more now
than ever before.
Yet,
all that did not happen
and I,
stood there
in front of the door for hours.
Feeling my heart
shattering
into a billion pieces
and you
my love
weren't there
to pick up the pieces.
Author notes
this was written for friends of trekkergirl word prompt... broken hearted. For contest prompt #1
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A contest entry
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1003 points, ended February 28, 38 entries
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Comments
1 - 62 of 62
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VERY TOUCHING!!!!!
Sometimes one does what they feel they must, it goes against their heart but it just has to be.
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Nice one ! !
A broken heart shattered and emotionaly destroyed
nicely if somewhat sad portrayed in some well chosen
imagery that flowed well,I'll just wipe the tears
away before Scotty beams me up...George...
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A pained piece of expression to thought. So many sadly know that hollow glance at goodbye. Thank you for your entry!
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Awesome
This poem was great, it had such a powerful theme, and person walking out of someones life. "Yet,
all that did not happen
and I,
stood there
in front of the door for hours." this part could of made me cry, it was so sad how they waited hoping. (: very well wrote*perfectly imperfect&*
MashellMacabre
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Ahhh, this is certainly a heart breaker to read. It is so sad when people do this but it happens so many times. A wonderful write.
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You communicate the shock and despair one would feel when such an event happened. I think the final verse works well, but the repeat of the word "pieces" dilutes it a bit.
"Felt my heart
shatter
into a billion pieces
and you
weren't there
to glue them back together."
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omg we got a writer folks damn i love this peice it shows pure raw emotion like i really felt this me and my boyfriend are like on the verge of callin it quite but when it actually happens i know i will feel this way this line rigth here I felt the scalding hot tears
fall from my face
as I watched you go.
I felt myself taking a step forward
wanting
wishing
hoping
that the door you had closed between us
would open
and you,
realizing your mistake
off da hook nice work man i love this please i need a cop
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thank you for replying to my poem. I am sorry to hear about your troubles with your boyfriend. I hope everything works out with you two. You made me smile by calling me a writer. Thanks
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Wonderfully and sorrowfully expressed.
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thanks
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nicely written.
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thanks
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One must truly learn to love themselves before they can truly offer love to another. Anything less is a hostageship not a relationship. A balanced ego and a healthy self esteem Is strictly an inside job. You'll know when you have it.
Because your romantic choices will be a lot less likely to walk out on you, and even if they do... You'll handle it much better than you presently do.
This poem made me cry, because I've been right where your at. Then I decided to look inward for the answer and a healthy self love and self esteem was born within me.
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thanks for commenting. I love your words. They are correct. To be good in a relationship you have to be good to yourself too.
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I've been there before...I so very much relate to this.
You did very well expressing such sorrowful times. -
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thanks for your commenting
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this is so sad. It does happen though so in that aspect many can relate to it.
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thanks for commenting
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I feel you on this one. Almost the same scenario that it actually gave me chills. Love it.
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thanks for commenting on this poem.
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This is really good
I have been there, this poem took me right back. If I could write about it I would not have been able to do so good a piece. It is one of the hardest things to face in life. The rejection, the betrale, the loneliness. For me it was a davorce after 14 years. Some light on the horizon though. I am remarried 5 years now. My heart has found love, and trust again. the picture you chose is a nice topping.
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I don't know what I would do if I got a divorce... we are working on 17 years now. But am soooo glad that you have once again found love. Good for you! Thanks for commenting.
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amazing. i liked this alot. so much emotion is expressed in this, it's wonderful.
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glad that you liked this. It was a good write or so I thought.
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The depth of the emotion gave it a real aspect, which if this is based off your life, that could be why.
Well written -
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Not quite like that... but at one point in our lives we all suffer from heart break. Thanks for commenting.
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wow... I really enjoyed this penning the emotion is so rich in this write..
Feeling my heart
shattering
into a billion pieces
and you
my love
weren't there
to pick up the pieces.
this the best way to wrap up this amazing write... great job poet!!
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I thought so too. Thanks for commenting. I liked it a lot too.
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wow i could i mis tha
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thanks for the comment.
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This is so sad and just makes me feel
I felt the scalding hot tears
fall from my face
as I watched you go.
The first line gives me this image of boiling tears actually burning you as they fall.
Simply amazing imagery.
X
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glad that you liked it... I liked this poem too.
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loved this:
I felt the scalding hot tears
fall from my face
as I watched you go.
I felt myself taking a step forward
wanting
wishing
hoping
that the door you had closed between us
would open
well done
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thanks glad that you liked it. I thought it was good too. I appreciate you commenting.
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loved it
welldone .... such an emotional poem .... i love to feel the pain , it makes me feel sorry for the person and thats what you need to do in a poem make the reader feel an emotion ... hope you keep on writing ...
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thanks for your comment. I am glad that you liked it and that I could the emotion across to you.
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Brilliant!!!
Nela
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thanks for commenting
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So heart felt!
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thanks glad that you like it
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Aw, Hon, what a lovely write.. I was so in tears at the end.. I really hope this has NOT happened to you in rl.. Well done with this..
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no happily it hasn't. Thanks for commenting.
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True spoken words from a broken heart, could just feel that all over again of what it feels like, you defined the emotion so wonderfully. Blessings.
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thanks glad that you liked it. Thanks for commenting
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This is excellent. Very compelling, very emotional, but contained. Only improvement I would suggest would be, drop the as, last line first verse. It is unnecessary.
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thanks for the suggestion. And the comment
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Sadly that hapens much too often . My grandpaw said sometimes you trade in a therobred in and get a mule.
A very sad but well writen poem. I loved it.
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thanks for the comment
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WOW, such heartfelt emotion. I love the way you described your feelings and I can totally relate to the waiting anf hoping that the one you love is going to change their minds about leaving. Just perfect
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thanks glad that you like it.
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Oh my God!! This totally blew me away. I love this and you did so well with the prompt. Wow! I am speechless. Perfect write!
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You guys have totally made my day! Thanks for the comments.
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You guys have totally made my day! Thanks for the comments.
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This is such a wonderfully sad piece. It's a terrible feeling to find yourself in this position. Especially when you have done everything you can to make the relationship work and it all just falls apart all of a sudden. I am sure that this has happened to so many people across the way and sometimes people just need to let go.
There comes a time in our lives where our hearts seek change and it can be quite difficult to find that unless we go out and find it ourselves. It's like an event that some people choose to go at alone. I love the imagery and the longing in your words here. I love the way that you put this together.
Well done my friend and thanks a lot for sharing it with all of us here. Keep up the wonderful work!
Jeremy0826
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wow thanks for commenting so wonderfully... you guys and gals are just wonderful to make a girl feel so good about something she has written... It was the word prompt that spurred this out of me... I just knew for some reason I had to write something for it. I am glad that you liked it.
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You're very welcome, I loved it!
Jeremy0826
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I really enjoyed this I could feel myself as this woman and envision what she was feeling internally nicely done
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wow
thanks you guys are making me feel soooo good about this.. I was sooo nervous writing it for some reason. I guess because I thought it was good but wasn't sure anyone else would. Thanks for commenting. I love that you have done this for me.
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WOW
This is wonderfully written. It puts the reader right there next to you with their hearts clenched for you. I really enjoyed this!
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thank you for reading this so quickly. I feel so much better now... sigh. I was worried no one else would like it.
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: ) I saw that you just posted it and thought I would check it out. You really wrote an amazing poem.
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you were so very quick... and I am glad you words make me feel so much better. I thought that no one would like it because it was kind of a personal write... Not that it personally happened to me... but the emotions... the betray... the loss... the hurt... all those are so very personal. Thanks for letting me know you like it.
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