I see you now
as if for the very first time
floating before my gaze
white—changeable as the clouds
full of reflection
clear—deep as a canyon pond
perhaps you're a spring
gushed from furthest mystery
a taste—artesian
I see you now
suddenly as if never before
welling up on my eyes
sparkling clarity
bubbling hope
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Very good. I think that perhaps you should change the line "suddenly as if never before" to something less similar in meaning to "as if for the very first time" Just because I think it will flow better. That's my personal opinion anyway
Golden Song
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Well I like "suddenly" somehow. It's actually a very good observation, and one worth considering seriously. I'll think about it and we'll see what happens.
Thanks for reading, and for offering honest feedback.
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Absolutely brilliant. Very good poem. Reading it was a pleasure. Having felt, as thou a part of this and wanting to just float away. Beautiful poetry. Take care and have a great day.
Sandi
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Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for the kudos and for your thoughts.
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I loved the Imagery, my mind reflected back to this past weekend laying atop a mountain so close to the sky yet so far the clouds were almost as though you could reach them with your hands, It was like looking at the sky for the first time and remembering why you looked at all. I love the clarity and the direction of the image allowing the reader the chance to interpert their own ideas from it. Great work on tying it all together as well.
Romeo
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It's always nice to hear that a reader was made to reflect vividly on some past experience, along with whatever feelings accompanied, upon reading one of my poems. Yes this was an especially optimistic piece. I've since found myself struggling with optimism. I sure wish it were my first nature to be optimistic, and not somewhere around my 15th.
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This is amazing.
And that's all I can really say.
Thanks for the inspiration I've been needing to write something deep. -
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Glad I could be an inspiration. Very nice to hear.
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thats good work
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T'anks!
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That was a great write! Great imagery! Thanks for sharing =) Keep it up!
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Thanks!
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Good
Good imagery. Keep it up -
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Thanks!
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Wow this is really interesting. I have yet to read anything like this. =]
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Glad you enjoyed.
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I really liked this it got my mind running. thumbs up
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Thanks, Ruby. Glad you enjoyed.
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It's wonderful.
Says so much about so little.
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This is so touching. I love the way the beginning starts off with inspiration. Great job. I'm terrified of spiders. So, your picture scared the day lights out of me. hehe.
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Spiders are so adorable though.
Glad you enjoyed the write.
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i need not say more..
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But hopefully I will, before I lose it altogether. Glad to see you pop in, Ankeeta.
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I think you're writing well
about what you know
hmmmmmm......
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Yes, paper is something I know. At the same time, it's something I don't really understand. Another dichotomy in my existence.
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that was awsome
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Thank you!
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Great write! Love the imagery! I love how it is an eye opener to this person maybe seeing a new light to someone else.
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.
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Superb Plus +
I think it is fine just as it is. I like your imagery which you so ably created. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
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Thanks.
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My pleasure to be sure
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Hi Erin
As soon as you said "canyon pond" I was there.
We've been getting so much rain in the desert here, I can't wait to see how the rain has transformed our environs with new brush etc.
This is a grabber, Erin. That may not sound like much, but it is!
John
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Desert rain is always a treat--so long as you don't live in the path of flash-floods. Those boys can really do some damn. Glad you enjoyed, John! Thanks!
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