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Canine Heaven

My dog leaps when he doth behold
A Bellamy's meat pie:
Mayhap a sausage in a pan;
Or chips bought from the local van;
Delicious hot, disgusting cold,
It makes me cry!
My Doggy also likes a flan;
And I would wish his days to be
With bitch on beach, I think he does agree.
 

Author notes

Option #1 Parody: My Heart Leaps Up
By the way, the OldPoetry version is lacking a word in the second last line: "And I could wish my days to be"

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    April 8
    Edit | Reply
    Ahhh . Quite well done. I enjoyed this very much. ~Pamela


  • Legend silver member
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful little poem that ended with that touch of humour that i do adore in poetry.I am sure you little dog is completely happy with all the things this poem gives him Especially the bitch
    Good luck in the contest


  • Jizzy Judy
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know the original but the bitch on heat bit is so true. My own boy-dog (when I was a little girl) used to embarrass me something terrible by trying to screw anything on four legs.


  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/3295-William-Wordsworth-My-Heart-Leaps-Up
    Can you still get Bellamy's Meat pies or are you just a good historian?
    An excellent parody, a nice giggle and a good entrant in the competition.
    Good work and good luck.
    Jim
    Ps I would have written "they make me cry" but that's just picky

  • Bad Bill
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent parody of the original - may the shade of William forgive you, lol!

    Good one,
    Bill

  • Judith Chandler
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    About as different as possible from the original. This piece gave me a chuckle. Well done.

  • Purrsanthema
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    Pedantic? Which one of us is worse?


  • chills gold member
    February 20
    Edit | Reply
    !! I wish him the bitch on the beach too!! I know, too cheeky as usual.... x d

  • Purrsanthema
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely adore parodies! In the last line, I'm not always too clear on ancient usage: should it be does agree or doth agree? This is so much fun, especially the brand name in line 2!


    • Keith
      February 20
      Edit | Reply
      Either verb form is fine. I only changed it so I wouldn't have 'doth' twice in the poem. Pedantic as always! Thanks for the applause, much appreciated.


    • Keith
      February 20
      Edit | Reply
      No, you're fine. I started the cheekiness!

1 - 11 of 11