pale flush
in blooded river
falsetto tears
left to fall then wither
and a kiss farewell
in silent starlight quiver
Author notes
20 words or less to depict a colour.
A contest entry
- write in colour by Lavender Butterfly.
450 points, ended February 20, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quckie, One Trophy, Wow Me! 30 Minutes by Timeless Wisdom.
600 points, ended May 25, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest appraisal please, I don't need my ego stroked
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Nice words to describe the color...It speaks with sophistication as well. Nice Job
Meter - 10/10
Rhyme - 10/10 (I am counting your assonances as rhymes)
Imagery - 9/10 --- it was hard for me to form a picture with a few of the words
Content - 8/10 -- I am just not "clicking" with the first line...
Title Pertinence - 10/10 --Creative title for a creative write
Overall - 47/50
Thanks for your entry!
Raymond
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Brilliantly woven words -very beautifully emoted
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To be the recipiant of the arrow...Love knows no bounds in color. What a beautiful expression of words 20 or less you have mastered here my friend. ~Sie
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This is truly wonderful Cuz, your imagery is beautiful!
Jazzy
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Beautiful!
I love this, Cuz....especially the ending....
Lynda
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Ahh, my favorite shade of pink, or red.. however one might look at it. Great imagery here. I loved the expression here. It is so hard to make a poem great in just a few words, but you have certainly done that here dear. Good luck in the contest!!
Love,
~Krys~
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thanks for the comment my dear, glad you enjoyed the read, at least my rhyme is getting better
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this is a great poem Daddy.. I sent you my suggestions... my favorite line is the 1st in the second couplet..
excellent job
good luck
kat
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immense imagery for a great colour... x
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wow, the imagery outstanding. You're so talented...ok mayube stroking your ego, but I'm just being...HONEST!
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wow very well written and very descriptive in so few words well done, good luck
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thanks mum, glad you liked it - was extracting all the emotion I could from it.
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