Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Pulverized

Whoa!
I:
I just this moment weigh
About five and a half pounds

My skin, my flesh, my organs!
Have been vaporized,
Rendered unto the void that is the tomorrow
Where all the dead go,
Feeling naught but the sweet pleasures
The living desperately throw

Ah, chalk-white splinters
Of bones that once stroked beautiful cheeks,
Masticated on tender ribs for weeks,
Clog the oven's traps,--
Do I live in your memories, do they lapse?
I no longer know, no longer care...
I will be the air
That lungs that never knew me
Smell:
Gases of the words I used to say
Fuel a mule's bray
(Sounds rather like when Christians pray)--
For lesser souls this would be Hell

I rhymed in my spare time,
For rhymin's no crime
In this nothingness so sublime

This skull, once full of purpose,
Becomes the ash
That irritates living lungs
As they toss my remains into the wind
And... and... and! fuck it, let's go bowling

You're right, there is an unspoken message here:
Savor the flavor of an erstwhile tear.

Author notes

Inspired by two of your prompts: The 'New Hyde Park' one and, obviously, the 'Dignity Funeral Home and Cremation' one.

Please, enjoy!

And good luck to the other entrants!

A contest entry

What is the crazy?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • bigpapa
    March 11

    Edit | Reply

    Dope

    Rhymin's no crime! That's for sure.

    This actually made me chuckle. I'm not sure of the intent but that was the result. Christian's pray = mule's bray also rather humorous.

    I hope to read more from you soon. Well done!

  • Suzanne Dia
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    you
    dude

    mind if I do a j?

    I'm glad you entered, I don't see nearly enough new writing from you.



    oh, right
    it rhymes
    and it doesn't suck!

    anyway thanks for entering, gio
    always nice to see your name in my contest.


  • libel -
    February 21

    Edit | Reply
    I love love this. The images you use are so vivid I can see them happening in my head.
    Love the Big Lebowski reference, by the way ;D


  • dustytiger
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    great work, i liek the way you combined the two prompts it really worked out well, is this just free verse or something more? best of luck in the contest


  • Deathless1
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting.
    some of the lines i found hard to follow, not the flow, that was great. it was the placing of some of the words that threw me off.

    this one line i found the most beautiful.
    "Ah, chalk-white splinters
    Of bones that once stroked beautiful cheeks,
    Masticated on tender ribs for weeks"

    love that one.

    great write and good luck.

1 - 5 of 5