The Confession

The first time I saw him,
he was wearing cut-offs and tennis shoes.
Sitting outside with his guitar, picking the blues.
He looked up, smiled and winked.
I looked away,
for had he seen my blush what would he think?
We'd see each other day after day.

Rapidly it became hard to look away.
He never spoke to me, not a single word.
But, the language of his body mine surely heard.
I knew where this silent flirtation would lead.
All warnings from my conscience, I refused to take heed.

Finally we made more than eye contact

Flesh against flesh, no turning back.

He called me wonderful, said I was devastating.
I wanted to kick myself for keeping him waiting.
Each moment we shared was absolute bliss.
How do you keep hidden something as wonderful as this?
He soon came to me and said,
the gossips all know I've been in his bed.
Their talk made our love seem tawdry and cheap.
This was more than an affair, our feelings ran deep.

He told me something must change or
the tongue wagging would last forever.
My choice had to be made now or never.
I'd found happiness at the touch of his hand.
To keep it I must meet his demand.
For the love of my lover,
I must bid my husband goodbye.
I left his arms saddened with not a tear in my eye.
I knew the results would be grim.
What I'd do, I'd be doing for him.

Next day I cooked my husband's favorite dinner.
He complimented it , called me his winner.
I plied him with scotch laced heavily with Demerol.
I wished him to suffer no pain at all.
As he began to drowse, I suggested a hot shower and bed.
Told him there I'd await him with soft pillows for his head.
He barely made it to the bathroom door.
Then, he called out my name collapsing to the floor.
I watched my husband lie in a crumpled heap.
Prayed he'd have a peaceful never-ending sleep.
Hours I sat on the edge of our marriage bed.
Waited for his last breath to tell me he was dead.

Just after dawn, my bedroom phone begin to ring.
In a raspy voice my lover said he'd solved everything.
I'll never forget how death circled that room.
Nor the sound of the clock as it ticked off my doom.
Why didn't in he in me have faith?
Why did he do it, why didn't he wait?
I keep seeing his smile, remembering his touch.
Sir I gladly await my fate, I miss him that much.
In making my cruel choice I felt no remorse.
My only mistake was not telling my lover what I'd done.
Perhaps if I had, he'd not have used his gun.
By my own doings, I've separated my love from me for all time.
So you see your honor,
no punishment you give me can possibly fit this crime.

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