Screams echoing from deep within
As harshest leather cracks upon skin
"Don't shed a tear, don't let them win..."
But three lashes in, and she's already pleading
Wounds revealing, slowly bleeding
Her pleading, futile cries unheard
As a knife to the throat stops every word
Along her back, they drag the blade
Cutting her clothes; she feels betrayed
Pained, alone and desecrated
But most of all, she's violated
And they won't stop until they're sated...
She just has to keep quiet, staying strong
But what they're doing feels so wrong
Aren't parents supposed to love their child
Instead of acting violent and riled?
Every one of her actions they seem to despise
They carve insults and hatred into her thighs
A lash from a whip for every mistake
There'll be a point where she's likely to break
She closes her eyes until the tortures are done
And she believes she deserves...
every
single
one.
Author notes
A poem on child abuse. As I was writing this poem, I tried to write it from the view of an older victim of abuse. When the topic of child abuse is mentioned, many people think of cute little children, but the fact is, a lot of older children and teenagers are abused as well, and I thought I'd write it from the less common viewpoint. 
When commenting this poem... please, give long comments and constructive criticism. I'm trying really hard to improve my writing. Much as I enjoy being told I'm an amazing poet, it's not true and it doesn't help me to improve. 
I started writing a poem because someone challenged me to enter this contest... also, a lot of my inspiration comes from my music. This particular poem came from listening to the Final Fantasy VII soundtrack. Most notably, the songs "Listen to the Cries of the Planet" (which is where the title came from) and "Off the Edge of Despair". So, thank you Squaresoft/Square Enix for making the Final Fantasy games! 
[Listen to the Cries of the Planet - Youtube Video]
[Off the Edge of Despair - Youtube Video]
A contest entry
- Can You Handle a REAL Critique? by DramaQueen469.
900 points, ended May 8, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i loved it
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Heh, seems I've already commented
The only thing I have to add (from a technical viewpoint) is your lack of punctuation... punctuation is your friend; believe me
Thankyou VERY much for entering this piece, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
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"Much as I enjoy being told I'm an amazing poet, it's not true and it doesn't help me to improve."
Well... now what do I write?
This poem broke my heart. You had me in tears, which... wasn't good, considering I'm in a University lecture at the moment... oops
I also like that the stanzas are different lengths. Normally, that would irritate me, but for some unknown reason it just... fits with this poem.
"And she believes she deserves... / Every / Single / One" ... yeah, that's where I broke down. It really struck a chord... I know how it feels to blame yourself. At times, I still do.
As a side-note, the rhyming is flawless. Which is becoming harder and harder to find in poetry, unfortunately...
WELL DONE, this poem is just phenomenal, and has earned you a spot on my favourites. A highly coveted position, I assure you
Much love,
DramaQueen469
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A haunting ending, very powerful emotional content
It sickens me to think or even try to fathom why a parent or any adult for that matter would want to do this to a child of any age. It simply disgusts me. -
Stong emotion, and I loved it.
Great job!!! -
Sad and infuriating
Firstly, as to punctuation, I flunked English in school, too busy looking at the beautiful teacher to pay attention. For that reason and the fact that I'm also a novice to the genre and I don't feel really qualified to criticize
other people's work. All I can do is tell you how I feel, sad and infuriated. My wife is a victim of abuse, so this poem hits home for me. I have several theories as to why abuse is so prevalent, but they would probably fill a book. Good work, keep putting out the word, if only one person takes the message to heart, you will have accomplished a great thing.
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imagery wonderful
sadness with topic, but thank you for sharing!
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well I wanted a poem that would make me want to hug the child and steal her away from her parents, and you've certainly done that. I think what depressed me the most is this actually does happen, all the descriptions and everything. It's really really depressing.
The imagery!! Oh my God you have no idea the suffering I felt because she was suffering. Even through rhyme you've managed to bring out emotions in me, which is absolutely impossible!
I don't have a favorite part >_> Sorry, I loved every line equally. I will definitely remember this one.
Thank you so much for entering, and good luck in the contest
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I try to only comment on poems that actually inspire some emotion within the reader, those pieces that you read and take your breath away... this one for instance shows emotions that not to many people comprehend, or for that matter are able to transfer them to a reader... you did a nice job of making that happen... the confusion and most of all the shame and belief that she needs to suffer because she deserves it. I really don't think anyone can claim to be amazing unless they can transfer every feeling to the reader... sometimes people do it without knowing... or a reader interprets their piece in a way that the writer didn't know it could be portrayed... If your other pieces are like this one... keep writing... because you may not think you are amazing but really it's up to the reader to decide... after all it's why we write... but to me it truly was a great piece!!!
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