It is springtime on the Yangtze River
Grandfather and I fish together and
Together we wish the fish
Would come when we call.
But they are stubborn fish, deaf
To hungry voices, perhaps frightened by
The noises of our laughter.
(We always laugh at stubborn, deaf fish.)
Fishless, we eat rice for supper
Drink hot, strong, brown tea.
Full of rice and tea and very content,
Grandfather sighs, smiles, speaks to me.
Young man dreams, old man pains,
The promise of this summer's plum rains.
"When the plums are ripe,
The rains will fall.
The river will drink her fill
And swell and spill
Onto the village streets."
Grandfather's grin splits the lantern shadow,
Toothless and joyful.
"Perhaps then, the fish
Will come when we call."
I would appreciate suggestions in punctuation and line breaks.
Comments
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enjoyable read
I'm not really into free verse but I liked this. I do think you could do away with the second 'together' in the opening stanza but that's just me nit picking. You paint a picture with your words easy to read and visualize.
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This is a very enjoyable poem. Poems and stories of a person's life are a favorite for me and this one is great.
Good work
Dee
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