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Forever a Mystery

Sing a song for me
of times past
make me sparkle
make me laugh

A renewed, but broken smile
A halfhearted pass
A yearning, longing stare
A mystical, pure entity

Snowflakes fall
back into my past
of times long gone
but fondly remembered

Hunger, thirst for you
bleed, drown for you
but still you don't see
the truth, the pain
behind my eyes

It's forever a mystery.

I fall harder, harder still
Voices call out, I cry.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was dark and had a depth to it that really spoke out. I could feel the pain and want in the peice. And the mystery of what is inside. Thank you for sharing this piece


    • Enira
      May 8
      Edit | Reply
      It's what I do--I couldn't imagine life without writing. Thank you very much and you're welcome.


  • rainboots
    April 11

    Edit | Reply

    Woot woot

    Ohhhhh. I like this. It was really deep and dark yet at the same time had life to it. Not so into the center alignment but it worked with this piece. Like me, you go comma crazy. I think you could go without some in this to help the flow. I was a little confused by this part.
    ...
    Hunger, thirst for you
    bleed, drown for you
    ...

    I'm not sure what your trying to say there. Do explain.
    same goes for this one. Not quite sure what you meant to get out.
    ...
    I fall harder, harder still
    Voices call out, I cry.
    ...
    Great poem. I really liked the feel to it. Keep writing.

    • Enira
      May 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.

      Hunger, thirst for you
      bleed, drown for you

      I was trying to describe how I long for someone and make so many personal sacrifices for them. The poem is more of a pull between opposites in emotion--I hope this clears some things up. As for the second pair of lines, I was describing my fall into the darkness and how sometimes, the more help people wanted to give me, the more it made me feel even more helpless and lost (and made me want to cry more).

      Does that make sense? I will try to explain it better if you need some more clarification--questions are good and I appreciate them!


  • a59teeth
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    A Mystery Indeed

    well you've successfully kept it a mystery. the writing is good and passionate. i was a bit thrown off by the first stanza rhyming and the rest not, but was easily set back on track. good write.


  • Heroesrox silver member
    March 23

    Edit | Reply
    Hrm....tis a mystery and shall always be, huh? Awesome job. Keep up the great work and best wishes to you! I loved this piece!


    • Enira
      March 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Your compliments are much appreciated.


  • bladesofblood
    March 20

    Edit | Reply
    Dude I LOVED IT!!!!!
    It's forever a mystery.

    I fall harder, harder still
    Voices call out, I cry.

    That was my fav part


  • Wu Jingdong
    February 20

    Edit | Reply

    well

    Snowflakes fall
    back into my past
    of times long gone
    ...

    ...the pain
    behind my eyes
    It's forever a mystery

    the description of this poem is impressive and vivid,I enjoy it.

    • Enira
      February 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I need to read your poetry now. I'll bookmark your page and return the favor. ^_^

1 - 12 of 12