Love became a fire in the coals
burning through the cold of day
a restless fury 'neath breath of soul
hearts gather shards to make the whole
time permits nothing to rest or stay.
Love became a fire in the coals
smoldered heat takes a heavy toll
cares we gather along the way.
A restless fury 'neath breath of soul
awaiting winds, to touch and console
futile wish to stay just this way;
love became a fire in the coals
flames of lightning and thunders roll
defies passage and strikes the way.
A restless fury 'neath breath of soul
that life stood in loneliness stole
to peel back wearied coats of gray.
Love became a fire in the coals
a restless fury 'neath breath of soul
Author notes
P...d
A contest entry
- November Rounds #5 by CitrineSunrise.
700 points, ended March 2, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The villanelle is such a beautiful poetic form but it must be anchored by strong refrains. You have chosen two beautiful lines to surround this work with passion and grace. I pictured a simmering ember aroused by passion and insecurity. It was a pleasure to read this lovely poem. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Thank you Liz-
for your kind words, so much appreciated.
Congrats to you on your wonderful contest, so many excellent entries, I do not envy your difficult judging task... all the best...PK
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Lovely
I absolutely admire the flow of this piece! I can really relate to this. I have a poem called "Blaze", which has the same meaning yours does. It's about eternal fire. The feeling in the piece is loving and adorable.
"Love became a fire in the coals"
That gets to me. It gave me shivers. I don't know why!
Fantastic write!
Please, for the sake of everyone who loves to read fantastic poetry, keep it up!
~Leah
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Lovely Villanelle. Your anchor lines are so strong and hold your words with tight fists.
I really liked this one.
"time permits nothing to rest or say"
This is such a strong statement as well, and so very very true.
Loved this one. ~Pamela
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This Villanelle of yours is lovely! The end and internal rhymes are well done adding a soft and pleasant rhythm to the verses. Refrains have a very good effect and a melodic tone as well.
The feelings you show, well, not much to say about, simply adorable
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