I close my eyes,
a vision unfolds before me
as I listen to a Chinese
musician practice
her erhu, or violin.
I see a pagoda in the mist,
the sight awakens in me
relaxation, as a man
proceeds to play the ditzi,
the traditional Chinese flute.
More visions slowly come
to me, as I focus my breathing,
meditating on the gentle
melodies playing around me...
I see a temple of jade,
Illuminated by a golden dawn
on the eastern horizon,
near a sea of tranquility.
I see night fall, and the
landscape transformed by the moon -
A Lotus moon, I dream.
I see reeds gently swaying
in a breeze, on an isle
laden with rolls of silk fabric
of all colors, leading to a forest.
A world traveler am I in my dreams;
a trip to the relaxing Orient I've
taken through peaceful meditation;
but alas - the phone rings - I
open my eyes to see only my
computer screen, no pagoda before me.
Author notes
Inspired by my cd from Target: "Relaxing Orient."; option 4
In a list
A contest entry
- Nature Lovers by StormyDawn.
1000 points, ended March 18, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST 1: Capture Asia by archilagan.
470 points, ended June 1, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Images are breathtaking!
I admire the use of free verse to describe such a naturally poetic Chinese landscape. This attempt, however, I felt disconnected me a bit from the idea of the Chinese scenery.
Some lines were unnecessary due to redundancy. Some pauses tried too hard for poetic effect that grammar was left behind.
Cool ending, though. A bit solidifying on the construction and we have a winner.
Thanks for entering and I hope you do more poetry! Good luck! -
This poem has a wonderfully exotic and serene feel and really captures an oriental atmosphere, as well as being rich in asian imagery. Best of luck in the contest.
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awww this is sooo good! I like the way you use music to be sooo relaxing. Good choice because if it is the right type of music I too find it very relaxing. Thanks for sharing this with us.
and Congrats on winning the favorite of the week poll. You deserve this with this write.
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This was very relaxing and had me, too, drifting off to a more peaceful scene, only to be rudely interrupted by the end. Beautiful poetry.
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Wonderful story with great imagery and a delightfully true ending.. I have been there too and life it always getting in the way..
well done!
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I loved the imagery in this write. I felt like I was in China, listening to the music. Very beautiful write. Best of luck and thanks for entering.
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Nice job wrapping the beginning or title I should say with the middle and the end of the poem. It is pleasing to read being so visual also.
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Oh that sounds soooooo wonderful! I would love to see that! But like you, only in meditation and dreams, I'm afraid!
Best of luck in this contest!
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