The moon hung,
A thin slice low
Whole all the time
Sometimes hidden just out of view
There is only one
So I follow her rhythm and tides
.
A contest entry
- Keeping Things Whole by AJ Morelli.
3500 points, ended April 2, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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More than you know...
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Yeeep, and so very true isn't it,
and where's the shiny hardware for this one?
Always a pleasure reading your writes.
Ken -
...a wise gent!
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the title is fantastic...
i love moon poems, and i like the idea of this one
a great take on the prompt but i'm not sure if this one isn't edited down a bit too much... maybe a bit more meat here, not sure
either way there is something wonderful here
al
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excellent
great way to look at the prompt - love how you put the moon in this
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beautifully simple
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Elegant in ti's deceptive simplicity. So well done.
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How'd I miss this one...
excellent.
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wonderful opening lines in this, they bring to mind every moon I've seen in that position, also like the inclusion of whole all the time as it always is...even though hidden..
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we all follow those ebbs and flows don't we?...i think especially women.. i think we are part moon children, part coyote howling, part rabbit watching from all angles... and i think
you capture that- love the title
it adds an interesting element
that you may not have found or been able to pull through without
placing it exactly where it is.. it isn't hidden.. but you sure as hell drop it in just the right spot
love the image of a hidden full moon- you are so good at this.. you know?
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it is hard to not be a moon child born in the middle of july LOL
loved where you went with part rabbit- so true
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It fascinates me how sometimes you see the sliver of moon that is alight, but the full circle that it is a segment of is darker than the sky around it, so in some ways it is even more visible than the shining slice. In otehr words- the part that is not there , that ostensibly is hidden, more dominant that the part that is apparent. She tells us a lot that moon.
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this is why you are in my favorites list..
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I love this, Heidi...excellent penning.
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This is lovely poetry, Heidi and I absolutely love the title. Wise words these... In the end it's all in the eye of the beholder ... the "how" we look. Nice tight delivery here!
~ Nicolette
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This is a beautifully crafted poem.
I cannot begin to describe the absolute beauty
of this write. I love it.
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This is beautiful...we all follow her rhythm and tides.
Well penned!
Mariana
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this is beautiful
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Awww, This is just...
I dunno what to say deputy sherrif
but not long to go now
Take care Heidi, always
Ken
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now, this piece really came alive before my eyes. it spoke to me, and i am amazed! awesome job
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i love this...it's so good to read you again.
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Solar rhythms, lunar rhythms, global rhythms, hormonal rhythms; it’s all relevant hun.
Awesome write.
With much love, and respect,
Mj.
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I say a prayer for you every day hun, like an old woman clutching a rosary, reciting novenas.
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TY
only two more weeks... and only 4 more days where he is outside the wire on patrols...
I will feel much better after the 4 days are over
lol you like an old lady? pfft... and who is that fugly kid in the photo?
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I'll double them up then, and get my wife involved; she's a real prayer warrior she is.
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this is wonderful... the last two lines create music.
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i LOVE this.
Yay for new awesome poetry!
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i want to give you the return clappy thingys but the link is missing
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oh psh. i dont care about clappies. i gave all my 30000 points away.lol
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I really love where you went from the prompt..
that alone makes this poem a stand out for me in the contest (I've read them all lol) -
The story though, and how the title ties into it, is spiritual and tender at the same time for me.
(oh, I have no crit, lol)
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