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You killed me

When I was up,
you threw me down
when I tries to swim,
you made me drown
and now I am
not who I was,
you killed
me

Author notes

??????

What do you think? Anything I can work on?

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Comments


  • Guerrero
    February 20, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Damn. This is... Well i cant find words for it. It steals the emotion out of ppl.


  • Angel Of Heaven99
    February 18, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    again, yet another really good poem.

    when I tries to swim,
    you made me drown

    I think it should be "tried" instead of tries...overall, I think it is good...like your others, it is short and to the point! Thanks for sharing.

    Jess