Dear God,
It’s me – Kim. I’d like to proclaim with certainty that I believe in you, but I have to admit my faith is more out of a fear of not believing in you. I’m sorry I’m not religious. To me religion can be a farce. People act one way in church and then go out and betray their faith and your word on the outside. I don’t worship you in church, but I do worship you in my every day life, or at least try to. When I look at my son, I get teary eyed and can’t help but thank you for trusting him to my care, for I know he is truly your son, not mine. I feel blessed, not lucky, in my life for all that I have. Everyday I thank you for my life and the people I share it with.
But, God, I have to say I’m so confused about the world and what goes on. I understand the concept of man’s free will, but what about the innocent people that are horrible victims of that free will? I have so many questions about my own life and want to know about my own suffering and the sufferings of my loved ones. Spirituality can be so cliché: “God won’t give you anymore than you can handle” or “He’ll reveal the answers in His time”. God, I want to know now. I’m not a patient person.
God, why do I fear you so? I say things like “I’ll kill myself if anything ever happens to my son.” And in the pit of my soul I dread you taking him from me just to prove a point. I’m always living in fear that you’re trying to teach me awful lessons the hard way. Are you a good, kind God or an evil God? And yet with so many loved ones passed on I force myself to believe you’re compassionate and gentle so that I know they’re in a wonderful place. Please take care of them and allow them to look in on me when they can. Let them touch me on the shoulder and gently whisper in my ear.
And finally, God, about my foxhole prayers…..you know the ones….when I come to you only in times of dire need. I know I need to get better at coming to you more often, and I recognize that my biggest problem is listening. I don’t always like what I hear, but I need to follow your guidance more often…..your will, not mine.
God, if you’re listening, please forgive me for my ambivalence. I am only who I am.
Love, Kim
Author notes
P A L O S Z O O
34. Write about your conversation with God, or write a prayer to God. Anything goes, but don't overdo the cussing and bashing. Just let loose.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dear God...It's me by Dalaney.
1200 points, ended March 10, 2009, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Letters by Catastrophe.
700 points, ends February 14, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
I can relate to a lot of the things you wrote. I've lived there, believe me. And I'm still in some of those places. I guess the best thing I can say is, I don't know the answers. But don't give up. Jesus hates religion too. And he's so different than what we think. Everything is. I learn that pretty much every day of my life. This was very honest. i liked it. Thanks for entering my contest
-
Wow. That was brutally emotional and powerful in its honesty. You did a fantastic job. Thanks for entering the contest and best of luck.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
-
Wow, this is an honest, heartfelt letter to the big guy upstairs. I can relate to this piece and I truly feel you've let loose of all your trapped feelings about religion and let it out here. I loved it.
Thanks for entering and best of luck
xoxo. -
What a deep write! It's refreashing to see this kind of honesty with God, and with yourself.
I admit that I also have a hard time reconciling the 'free will' of man with the fact that it often hurts other, weaker, people so much more then it does us.
I also struggle to trust him to be a fair and loving God as He has promised to be, even though I grew up as a christain in churches. I guess it's human nature to hope for the best, but expect the worst.
Well written.
God Bless, Larkbird -
Excellent
a very honest and truthful write, so very well expressed and from the heart. Best of luck in the contest. Congrats on your gold.
-
Good Job
This is a beautiful poem, very truthful and in an interesting format. I wouldn't change anything. I'm not trying to tell you what to believe, but I believe that God is loving and compassionate. Good luck and God bless!
P.S I really think this is an amazing poem, but because its already won I'm going to look at other poems first, but don't get discouraged! -
Wow Congratulations on winning!!! I think you have a wonderful letter. I can sincerely relate to your letter as well.
-
Hmmm... If I believed in a god myself these are definately questions I would be asking. I always wonder about that saying, “God won’t give you anymore than you can handle” and I think it must be wrong because I can't handle some of the things I'm going through at all. I dunno.
And I wonder about the word ambivalent and what it really means because I keep getting told different meanings for it. A psychiatric nurse I saw once told me I was ambivalent... I don't know if she's right lol because I don't know which meaning of the word she was following.
Argh. Confused.
Anyways, great poem =]
x x x -
No comment
After reading this note, I decided that there's nothing left to say. Very well done!
-
great job, sis! loved this and I agree with a lot of what you have said. good luck in contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
