a whirl of broken colors
I'm nothing more than a whim
spinning on unconsciousness away from the truth
[a young naive mouse wandering into a cat's territory.]
its just a coincidence that I drowned in your blue eyes today
they pierced me, a speck of blue that chilled the room
because thats what you are;
cold.
I understand now that wasn't heaven
and I woke up from that spell you put me under
but it wasn't soon enough. The minute your dead won't be soon enough.
A contest entry
- Easy as Pie by Cyanide Dreams.
3250 points, ended April 17, 132 entries
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what should i change?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Deep. I liked this poem. You took an ordianry thing and made it into something so deep and meaningful. Alot of people could relate to this, realizing that this isn't the right thing to be in a relationship, and you realize you're just under a spell. It reminds me of a song by David Archuleta, called Barriers. Very nicely done. The flow and the imagery were excellent.
Thank you for entering and good luck.
Josh
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Deep like an ocean.
Very deep and has a nice flow to it.
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thank you..
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good start, cant wait until its compleate
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what do you think now?
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hmmmm what do i think now.....that its absolutly AMAZING!
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