I remember the hour we left mum!
from a damp soggy town on a cold August morning
that held nothing for us now, but a damp future.
I remember the day we arrived here Mum!
in our white-washed van carrying the weight of our tiny world
precious memories wrapped in card and newspaper, was all that we needed.
I remember the day we arrived Mum!
we couldnt get in! The keys were not there!
but I remember what was, as I sat in it's branches, waiting to welcome us home.
I remember the day we arrived Mum!
as we stacked our treasures inside our new cave and rushed to the garden
where an artist had glossed the setting sun in a beautiful rainbow sky.
I remember the night we arrived Mum!
one small little camp bed in my brand new room
together we were, closer than ever, as the rain and the wind hit the window.
I remember the time we got up Mum!
7am! as the sea breeze doused my lungs and carried the song of the seagulls
and the kind sun bathed us with new hope, a new start mum!, just for us.
I remember the day we explored Mum!
with our priceless smiles and yellow raincoats on
where we would choose a strange path and head for the beach!
I remember the time we got back Mum!
8pm! with rocks and shells in our pockets and still the light followed us home
to the little white house on the corner with our pretty cherry tree in bloom.
I remember the hour we left mum
I remember the day we moved in,
I remember the years of great fun mum
I remember every place that we've been.
but still our future is bright mum
our island still holds all our dreams
beneath the dust and the limestone
the ocean around us still gleams.
Author notes
Happy Mothers Day! Mummy I promise you the gift of many more fun times as the years go on. But I will never forget the day we made our dreams come true, when we moved to the seaside.
love you xxxx
A contest entry
- Childhood Memories by HyperSoccergal8.
600 points, ended August 6, 2009, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I really enjoyed reading this,not only is it beautiful but also innocent,this is unique in it's own right,keep penning!,Regards,Hazel
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sweet!
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your poem was just beautiful
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but still our future is bright mum
our island still holds all our dreams
this was my favorite part of your write. to still have a place holding your dreams means they are still attainable. thank you for sharing this with me today. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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AWWWW
That is sooo cool how you wrote that!!!! I think what make sit even sweeter now this is a compliment not me making fun of anything... but i'm from the US and we say Mom instead... But I have ALWAYS loved Mum i think it gives a sweeter tone... i love how you wrote this its very nice!!!! I hope you mom reads it!!! -
beautiful
I really enjoyed this lovely piece. Thank you for sharing.
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that was really sweat and touching it did play as a movie
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Another Great write!
Aww! This did play like a movie. Nicely done!
I remember the day we explored Mum!
with our priceless smiles and yellow raincoats on
where we would choose a strange path and head for the beach!
Very Fairy Tale, I love it! -
A joy to read, played as a movie in my mind, just loved it, thank you so very much.
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A very well written story of a mother's gift to her children. What lucky children to enjoy such a wonderful adventure.
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Great write! I love it. It's a beautiful dedication to your mom.
"but still our future is bright mum
our island still holds all our dreams
beneath the dust and the limestone
the ocean around us still gleams."
A couple things that I saw that migh need to be changed:
~* Stanza 5, line 3: Is "wondow" supposed to be "window"?
~* Stanza 7, line 2: Is the second "with" a typo?
~* Stanza 8, line 2: Did you mean "on" or "in"?
Keep writing.
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thankyou for spotting those I saw wondows lol but the wother two I would never have noticed
thankyou xxx
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oh this was really beautiful hun.. to have such memories with your mother. I loved how enthusiastic you were through-out the whole poem, until how it softened there in the end.. I really liked that... You wrote this with so much emotion!! such a wonderful write, thank you very much for sharing!! I truly enjoyed this..
Angel
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wonderful
Love the detail work, wonderful flow of words. Priceless smiles and yellow raincoats jumped out at me. Priceless smiles remind me of the yellow smiley face. Very much a pleasure to read.
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