Fruit Cocktail

Your soft fruit a Gooseberry fool,
I haven’t seen you at my school,
We have Bramleys, Pears and Victoria Plums,
Go on then! Run away back too your Mum;
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Your Girlfriend is a Blueberry Tart.
She will go with anyone for there cream,
You think she’s Posh. But she always farts,
The Kiwi Oriental delight thinks she’s mean;
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I’m a Crab Apple Hard and Sour,
You can Suck me for my seedlings for an hour,
I go with Strawberries and Red currents,
I am an Apple-turnover with no Pants;
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I’ve seen your Cherry in a pie,
Can I suck and eat it! Can I?
I will be anything you want me too be?
A Grape on a Vine, or a pear on a tree;
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I’m a mighty Midget and very, very sour.
You can slice me with sugar for an hour,
We can make fruit Cocktail balls,
While you and I visit the Victoria Plum Falls;
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I Recon Apples and Plums can Wed?
A Mix with plenty of cream,
Making Seedlings with sexy legs,
Mashed and Liquidised to make the Ice Scream!
Or even Ice-Cream.